shame/embarrassment, even if it seems like an evasion of foundation work, is such an uncomfortable state that he's going to have to go somewhere from it, he's maybe at least got a sense of restlessness that will create some kind of movement. Like it might shake him out of that kind of self-absorption I was talking about above, even if the sense of outside reality that manifests in embarrassment isn't the most healthy thing.
Yeah, I'd actually argue that it's a sign of some of that growth already taking place? As vain as it sounds, embarrassment is about other people's opinions of him, which necessarily means that he is considering other people's opinions, rather than just assuming they think what he wants them to think or finding a way to make them think what he wants them to think (usually by curtailing what they know). I think that's way ahead of convincing himself that people he's hurt are just being mean by refusing to accept his "I did it for youuuuu" rationalizations. Even just saying it's about his bruised image reflects an acknowledgement that others are subjects in their own right, not objects who should reflect his own subjective ~feelings.
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Date: 2014-11-07 11:10 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'd actually argue that it's a sign of some of that growth already taking place? As vain as it sounds, embarrassment is about other people's opinions of him, which necessarily means that he is considering other people's opinions, rather than just assuming they think what he wants them to think or finding a way to make them think what he wants them to think (usually by curtailing what they know). I think that's way ahead of convincing himself that people he's hurt are just being mean by refusing to accept his "I did it for youuuuu" rationalizations. Even just saying it's about his bruised image reflects an acknowledgement that others are subjects in their own right, not objects who should reflect his own subjective ~feelings.