Thank you honey. I felt like I needed to write something down to make sense of what I'm feeling for Dean at the moment.
I wouldn't even mind Dean not being cast as the 'hero' any longer, I've never looked for perfection in characters
Yes. And I would probably be happy for him not to be that kind of classic hero either. I would like to see him rise above the darkness a slightly changed man though - even if it's as simple as self awareness or seeing how his actions aren't there to create guilt in him, but often result in hurting others.
but I do need to watch characters that I like, this bitter, cruel and twisted person is someone I can't watch any longer, because from the show's history, I know NONE of it will mean anything or lead anywhere
And this is what I constantly fear. If I could I would stop watching. I find these bitter, nasty versions of themselves really hard to watch, but I keep hanging on for the moments when they are not like that. And as they mostly seem to throw all this stuff at them just to create the drama it means there will probably never been any "real" resolution.
the wallowing in guilt isn't engaging at all and the conversations he has with Sam these days are just too damned cruel.
They are. And even though he says he wants to do the "right thing" and felt embarrassed by what he'd done I think I'd love realised how much he hurt people during that time - particularly Anne-marie and Lester. He killed a man and he's wiped his hands of it because it "wasn't him". And I agree it wasn't him, but to throw it ALL on Sam…what even is that? (though I do know what that is, but it's so damn hard to watch).
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Date: 2014-11-08 05:32 am (UTC)I wouldn't even mind Dean not being cast as the 'hero' any longer, I've never looked for perfection in characters
Yes. And I would probably be happy for him not to be that kind of classic hero either. I would like to see him rise above the darkness a slightly changed man though - even if it's as simple as self awareness or seeing how his actions aren't there to create guilt in him, but often result in hurting others.
but I do need to watch characters that I like, this bitter, cruel and twisted person is someone I can't watch any longer, because from the show's history, I know NONE of it will mean anything or lead anywhere
And this is what I constantly fear. If I could I would stop watching. I find these bitter, nasty versions of themselves really hard to watch, but I keep hanging on for the moments when they are not like that. And as they mostly seem to throw all this stuff at them just to create the drama it means there will probably never been any "real" resolution.
the wallowing in guilt isn't engaging at all and the conversations he has with Sam these days are just too damned cruel.
They are. And even though he says he wants to do the "right thing" and felt embarrassed by what he'd done I think I'd love realised how much he hurt people during that time - particularly Anne-marie and Lester. He killed a man and he's wiped his hands of it because it "wasn't him". And I agree it wasn't him, but to throw it ALL on Sam…what even is that? (though I do know what that is, but it's so damn hard to watch).
xx