New vidlet! Smile, like you mean it.

[ash48]

(You know it had to be done...)



Title: Smile, like you mean it.
Vidder: ash48
Song by: The Killers
Category: Character study
Length: 1.03 min (damn, that's short)
Size: 16mb
Summary Dean's doing all he can to smile. Like he means it.



Huge thanks to the lovely counteragent for the beta. *heffa hugs* hun. I appreciate it.<33

Download: 4 Shared || Stream: You Tube

notes

This is embarrassingly short. Mostly because I can't seem to make longer vids these days, but it's also because it punched out of me like this.

The notion of Dean smiling as a way of coping with everything really struck a cord with me. In the final scene from Adventures in Babysitting (7.11), you can see the wheels churning in Dean's mind. I wanted to play with the "practice smile" and show what he has to fight (in his mind) to put it on his face.

Feedback is always appreciated. :)




As an aside to the vid (though relevant to it if you watch to the very end), I've heard that some fans felt that Dean was being mean for making fun of Sam's fear at the end of 7.14 - laughing at Sam's ordeal and by buying him a clown doll. I ABSOLUTELY appreciate that everyone sees things differently (and I love that! I really do) but I can't say I saw it that way. The end, to me, was a very brotherly exchange.

Dean laughing at Sam's expense is how it works. Sam knows that. That's why he stopped himself from saying anything (notice that moment when he was going to call Dean on it then stopped?). Instead, he saw Dean enjoying himself for the first time in a long time and let it go. He loved seeing his brother actually smiling. Especially because it was Sam that made him do so. Sam does the same to Dean (note the ribbing Sam gave Dean in the previous episode, Slice Girls). It's such a brother thing. I think we sometimes get stuck on constantly wanting to see them worry and care for each other (which, yeah...*g*) but I think we can sometimes miss that siblings also rib and make fun of each other. (I'm happy to debate this of course. I can see that Dean could be seen as being being thoughtless. I just didn't get that vibe with that scene.)

Sam has a fear of clowns, (which does seem rather weird considering the all the things that are out there) so of course Dean is going to leap on that. Add to that a brother covered in glitter? Well...if Dean's looking for something to smile about you can't do much better than that.

Comments

[growyourwings.livejournal.com]

This is wonderfully done. And I agree with the teasing at the end of the last episode. Such a brother moment. I'm afraid of tonight's episode. I don't know anything about it, but I figured we had a funny episode and we are now sliding toward the end of the season - yikes.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you <3

And I am completely un spoiled for this ep... but I am equally concerned (in a OMG! We are going to have our hearts ripped out! kind of way...). Still, I can't wait...

:DD

[cassiopeia7.livejournal.com]

Darn it, I can't watch at work. D: But I know it's going to be awesome, just because you made it -- I can't wait to see!

The end, to me, was a very brotherly exchange. ... I think we sometimes get stuck on constantly wanting to see them worry and care for each other (which, yeah...*g*) but I think we can sometimes miss that siblings also rib and make fun of each other. (I'm happy to debate this of course. I can see that Dean could be seen as being being thoughtless. I just didn't get that vib with that scene.)

SO much truth here -- you'll get no debate from me. I'm one of three siblings myself, and yeah, that is exactly how those relationships work. We rib, we tease, we sometimes do things that appear cruel or thoughtless to outsiders. I totally understand both Sam ribbing on Dean in the previous episode, and Dean ribbing on Sam here. It's just what siblings do. :D

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun... (though it's really short and probably doesn't say a lot..).

Yeah..I'm one of four. And there are times when you want to run and hide so you don't get picked on - but that's all par for the course I suppose. I love how resigned Sam was that he was going to get teased.

[azziria.livejournal.com]

Absolutely with you - it was *such* a sibling thing to do, that was absolutely the vibe I got from it.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yeah... It was good to see them being siblings on this level again.

X

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

OMG, My heart breaks! You and your evil vidding emo-inducing ways :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Ha! "evil vidding emo-inducing ways" ..... *chuckles*

I mean... Sorry about that. Dean has a way breaking hearts.....

Thanks so much for watching. :)))

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

Great use of that long clip as a structural element--this vidlet is an excellent reminder to us all what it takes for Dean to smile nowadays.

(Besides a 7 ft tall glitter-covered Sam, that is.)

:)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you honey. And thanks so much for checking it out for me. I always love hearing your thoughts.

<333

(I hope all is good..<3)

[bythedamned.livejournal.com]

you know, it's odd, but I kind of feel like Dean deserves this vid :P his character deserves to have everyone acutely aware of just how much crap he's been through, and how hard he has to work to smile in the face of it.

wonderfully on-point :) and I love how Dean's head-space if full of Sam bleeding and dying, even when he's trying to be happy.

oh, and I'm totally with you on the brothers ribbing thing. that scene felt *good*, with Dean being Dean and Sam being Sam and everything the way it's supposed to be :D S2, we missed you!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think Dean needs a moments where we can see exactly what he has to contend with. He has it tough, that's for sure.

In my mind everything that Sam has been through would weigh heavily on Dean. Even though he still has him, it must be hard not to remember what he has suffered and what could possibly happen to him. And then try to smile..

Hee! Yes S2 happiness. It seems so long ago...

Thanks so much for watching and commenting hun.
xx

[chemm80]

Oh I'm so glad you did this--Jensen's incredible job of acting (with just his little face, OMG) at the end of that ep really deserved a tribute.

Regarding 7.14, I honestly think this was the most "brotherly" episode I've ever seen on this show, even including season 1. Their teasing, their laughter, their recall of past events--it's like they're back to their S1 relationship only with more maturity, a recognition that there are some things you never get over, but you can get past them. With all due respect to differing opinions and at the risk of telling people "Ur doin it wrong," I think being disgruntled with the brotherly byplay in this episode shows a lack of maturity and understanding of what these guys are, and what they are to each other. They're not 13-year-old girls.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Jensen did a great job with this last scene. Going over and over it whilst making this vid made me really notice how he was really working that smile.

it's like they're back to their S1 relationship only with more maturity,

Oh yes. The maturity is really coming through now. They've been through so much together and it's great to see that reflected in their interactions now.

I'm really liking this new understanding they seem to have. (I just hope it can last for a while....or more!)
xx

[dotfic.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ash, that vid is perfect. I must enjoy pain because I watched it 3 times. But it's comforting in a cathartic way--a visual essay on what Dean is struggling with, and yet it hasn't broken him.

That last scene of 7.14 was love. That is my take. It was the boys looking after each other and they have both repeatedly needled and teased each other on things. There seemed to be a lot of growth here--it's not even back to S1 even though it has the surface trappings of the jokes and brother bonding but I think there were tensions in S1 that aren't there now while they have different tensions and problems. But the relationship has evolved.

That is the easiest they've seemed together in a while.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yay Dot!! Thank you so much. :D

I think it's testament to how strong Dean is. If you put together everything he's suffered and still manages to work a smile he's one hell of a tough dude.

But the relationship has evolved.

Yes! I just love that it has evolved and isn't just a "let's go back to S1/S2 "happier" times". It's taking into account everything that's been before.

That is the easiest they've seemed together in a while.

*happy sigh* Of course this means there's trouble ahead but then it wouldn't be show if there wasn't.

Thanks so much for watching sweetie. :DD

[august-monsoon.livejournal.com]

This is utterly utterly gorgeous. ♥

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun! <333

[mithborien.livejournal.com]

This is so not embarrassingly short! I have been thinking about vid length lately and I think as long as the vid is "complete" ie. you have said what you are trying to say in the vid, then it doesn't matter how long or how short it is. And this was very eloquently said!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hee... I made this and then looked at the length and thought... "what? It can't only be a minute". But yeah... there wasn't much more I wanted to say so I had to leave it there.

Thank you! Eloquent is lovely...:D

[maichan.livejournal.com]

Lovely study of the "practice smile" concept. The voiceover and cutaways were beautifully chosen and executed.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you darlin'. I'm thrilled you thought so. <33

[no-ones-sleep.livejournal.com]

I was so astonished to read that there were fans calling Dean mean- I was so delighted by how easy they were with each other during the last two episodes... My focus is more on Sam in this regard, though. When did he change from making bitchfaces to being this relaxed?! I like it. He lets Dean be. But at the same time I wonder if this is just because he doesn't have the strength to care any more ("I don't care how you deal, I really don't just don't get yourself killed"-?!) He still has to fight Lucifer, that must be quite a heavy load...

Buuuut your vid!!! THANK YOU. Dean's smile is something he has to fight for, yes. I appreciate how you mingled the tragic scenes with this forced smile behind the wheel. And when I saw Dean laugh at the end, it was like... well, like he died and went to heaven. I don't believe in redemption for either Winchester here on earth. So it has to be the afterlife (which will hopefully be better then the ones they already had). And to imagine a Dean who is laughing gleefully, free of all burden, enjoying himself... that is something to wish for.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

I think Sam did have a sense of resignation. And maybe some relief. A chance to see his brother happy. And after the most recent ep - yes - Sam has a huge load to carry.

I'm glad you liked the vid. It always fascinates me what could be going through the characters heads. And I always imagination it will be afterlife when the boys finally find peace. :)

[greyowl88.livejournal.com]

(Of course the YT version is blocked in Germany...*sigh* )

Oh, wow, this vid really highlights how much Dean has to "smile away" in order to be able to keep going. I mean we all know about those things, but seeing it all cramped in between Dean's "test smiles". That's pretty hard to watch. I love that you let him remember the smiles of his loved (and lost) ones in the end, as if that was helping him to keep his smile on. I also think the shortness of the vid is very appropriate and helps the message come across like a punch.
Really wonderfully done!♥ :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Damn! Blocked in Germany again! :((

Thanks sweetie. I'm glad you liked the vid. I initially had scenes of his loved ones dying but it wasn't really working so I thought it would be more bittersweet if he remembered them smiling. I also liked the idea of them matching the song title. :)

<3333

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

Oh honey, this was perfect! It's short yes, but it's so wonderfully edited, it packs a punch. I'm so happy to see all the people Dean's loved (and lost). I loved that you chose to remember them for Dean through their smiles and how you framed it all with Dean's strained smile in the car. It gives the message on who Dean is in such a powerful way, better than a 10K meta would do. I'm flailing - and speechless - with how much I'm loving it.

As for your rant, I had no idea people were thinking Dean had been mean to Sam with that laugh in the last episode. I guess, it was such a perfect moment of brotherly love, not only Dean's laugh, but Sam's reaction to it, that I never thought someone could take it differently. <3 And you know there was GLITTER! How can one not laugh at that?

[ash48.livejournal.com]

\o/ Yay! Thank you honey. I'm thrilled you liked it.

I initially had him seeing his loved ones dying but I thought it would be more powerful if he remember them smiling. Smiles that would maybe help him smile too.

And I know! I have to admit it surprised me. It really didn't come across (to me) as Dean being thoughtless at all. The fact that he went to the trouble of buying Sam a "tease" present filled my heart. Same with Sam getting (stealing?) Dean the slinky... So adorable. :DD

[yourlibrarian]

I agree with you here, I think you make a really good argument about both what it means that Dean was able to laugh and that Sam let Dean enjoy the moment. My big "awww" was that Sam thought about gifting him the slinky! It's seemed to me on more than one occasion that Sam sometimes seems like the older brother in that he more often indulges Dean than the reverse, but I think it's more than Dean missed the childhood that Sam got to have (however imperfect it was) and Sam knows that. If he didn't know it before Dark Side, he sure did after.

What made me somewhat frowny about that scene was what the glitter made Dean think of, but it's hardly anything new for SPN.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Interesting thought. Sam indulging Dean those childhood things he never had. Wow, I can't believe I never really put those 2 things together. Dean loves all those simple, childish things in life because he missed out on them as a child.

Yeah.
xx

[el1ie.livejournal.com]

WOW! This was amazing, I loved the construct of this, it works beautifully, the music and the voice over really meld well and the timing of the false smiles versus the fast action fighting and memories of loss packs a real punch. Makes me a bit sniffly really, like a life flashing before the end and I really don't want to think about what keeps these boys going.

The clown thing, yeah, I've seen it around and I do understand feeling are running high and I'm never one to say it couldn't be interpreted like that, however it's not how I saw it at all for a variety of reasons.

#1. Sam has never shown any real panic around clowns, in season 2 it was obvious he didn't like them, but he coped just fine, I saw it as more of a memory of a fear he had as a child and one that had become a running joke between them - "clowns or midgets?". Yeah, he was freaked out about the thought of facing them, didn't like them at all, but again part of that's like a muscle memory not outright dangerous panic, that's the kind of thing that can be overcome by facing your fear dead on.
#2 Sam is aware that his fear of clowns is nothing like the reality of Lucifer sitting on his shoulder, Sam knows the difference and anything Lucifer could have used against Sam and his fear of clowns he would have already done a million and one times in that 100 year stretch in the cage.
#3. Dean taking on the clown part of the investigation would once more send the message that he didn't think Sam was to be trusted, that Dean still thinks of him as damaged and unable to handle it and that would have been far more damaging to Sam's psyche than facing clowns.
#4 Sam himself was already amused when he got out of that car covered in glitter just knowing how Dean was going to react.
#5 the gift exchange was perfect, Sam treating the inner child in Dean by giving him a slinky and Dean banishing Sam's childhood fear of clowns by giving him a clown doll, which he promptly tore the head off and tossed out of the window, most likely leading to more hilarity from his brother. Perfect!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun. I'm glad you like the construct. I hoped it wouldn't be too simplistic. I wanted to bring forward the main things Dean has to battle when trying to move on.

And YES YES... all those reason right there!! Perfect... :DD I love that Sam already knew what he was in for when he got out of the car. I'm so glad Dean didn't disappoint. :))
xx

[galwithglasses.livejournal.com]

This is awesome.  I knew Dean was working to get that smile but I didn't realize how much he failed at it until this.  Jensen manages to convey a heck of a lot with his face and that must have been a challenging scene to do because that smile (or lack of one) is the scene.  I like how you showed everything that has happened to make it so hard to smile. Then you give the chance for us to see what he looks like when he does mean it.  So different.

As for the teasing, that's how these guys roll.  They snark back and forth at each other over most things.  Plus Dean had just apologized in a way that I'm sure he thought was a chick flick moment so he had to cover the fact that he cares and exposed his feelings by being obnoxious.  Sam fully expected to be mocked the way he came back still covered with glitter.  For these guys, it's a sign that everything is as normal as it could be between them or at least that they are trying to make it so.  In 5.10 Dean teases Sam about finally not trusting a demon.  Sam gave Dean grief last week about the hook-up.  They've snarked about Dean's drinking and where Sam's head is at.  You could even make a case that this particular fear is one that Dean's been mocking Sam about for a long time and it's part of their combined history.  In 2.02 Dean makes Sam sit in the clown chair and there is a lot of verbal back and forth about clowns and flying, which is one of Dean's fears.  Siblings just seem to know how to get under each other's skin with teasing in a way that no one else can but I think a lot of them also put up with behavior from a sibling that would never fly with anyone else.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

It's really interesting looking at that smile. Not once did it reach his eyes. He have the whole mouth thing happening but it stopped before his eyes. I think that was pretty clever of Jensen. His eyes conveyed so many other things....which is what prompted the vid really.

And yes... the boys are at their best when they are teasing each other. It's what they do. It's been a while since we've seen it so strong. it was rather refreshing and so pleasing to see. I just hope it's enough to help them through the next few hurdles...

xx

[luminosity]

The Heart. It is torn out.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hugs*... Dean such has a way of ripping out our hearts...

Thanks so much for watching hun.
xx
<33

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

That turned out great. The smiles after Sam dying in Dean's arms and Dean in Hell just rip your heart out!

I'm downloading it to keep on my "watch in the living room" hard drive.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun.

Your initial response when you first saw it kept me going. :)

Yay! Watch in the living room hard drive. \o/

[riotgrrlhotel.livejournal.com]

Gah.
Cruel, cruel show.
Jensen = vastly underrated actor.
Vid = perfect. Thanks Ash.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yes
Yes
YES!
Thanks...:DD

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

Cool! One of my all time favourite SPN vids is to this song and I always love seeing different takes on the same music. Love it.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yes.. that's one of my favs also. I was hesitant to reuse the song because that vid was SO perfect. But I really, really wanted to vid Dean's smile attempts and that was the song that kept nagging me.

I'm glad you liked it hun.
xx

[turquoisetumult.livejournal.com]

JEEZ! That was so short but it packed a helluva a punch. The entire fact that Dean's memories were mostly heartbreaking as he tried to literally smile through them all made the vid so much more heart-wrenching. The contrast between the two was beautifully done.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much hun. I'm thrilled you thought it packed a punch. I was hoping it had some emotional resonance.
<333

[maenad.livejournal.com]

That is a beautiful vid. And I don't know about embarrassingly short. I think it's amazing that you can convey so much in such a short space.

I think you're right about Dean's laughter, too. They're siblings, they get to tease each other and laugh because it shows how comfortable they are. When they have to be polite and concerned all the time, it means something's wrong - they're afraid the other one will take offence. :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun.

I somehow feel like I'm cheating when I make such short vids. I knew I wanted this to be short-ish but when it came in on a minute it surprised me. But I also didn't want to extend it.

And yes...it's nice that they are past the "will I do/say the wrong thing". Something like this is small beer compared to the other stuff they have to put up with.

<33

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, that scene with Dean struggling to smile was already heartbreaking, but that song and those images....ouch. So powerful. Also, I totally saw that ending scene with Dean laughing for real -- and sharing that with Sam -- the same way you did. They were on the same wavelength there, and it was so clear how much they'd missed that feeling.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :D That scene fascinated me so much. At first I wasn't sure what was going on but when it clicked it really hit a nerve.

<33

[tiniowien.livejournal.com]

Epic juxtaposition Batman! Nicely done indeed. :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hee! thanks honey!! :DD