New Vid! Sam Winchester - Scars

[ash48]

Title: Sam Winchester - Scars
Vidder: ash48
Music by: Elegeion
Length: 3.03m Size: 60 mb
Category: Angst, character study
Summary: Scars on my skin, my heart and my soul

Made for spn_littlebro's hc_bingo challenge. The prompt is "scars".

Watch/DL: You Tube || 4Shared || Sendspace

Thanks

This was not an easy vid for me. It's been a while since I've made such an angsty vid and I felt like I forgot how. I was extremely lucky to have brilliant betas who gave me thoughtful, helpful and excellent notes and helped me work through vidding problems I had with it.

Mega thanks to counteragent for all her hard work and amazing suggestions. There's no way I would have completed this without you. I loves ya - I hope you know that. Thanks to killabeez for great ideas and reminding me about better artistic choices (I love that stuff so thank you! <33) And special thanks to the lovely el1ie for her thoughtful feedback and helping me articulate exactly what I was doing here. *hugs* to all you lovely ladies. Oh, and to my test audience at a recent gathering...<333

Notes

Season 8 Sam was difficult for me to get my head and heart around so I felt like I needed to vid something to help me sort it out. When I saw the hc_bingo prompt for "scars" it made me think of the scars that Sam carries - physical, mental and emotional, so I went looking for a song. It's rare that I find a song that matches what I am thinking about. I knew in my head exactly what I wanted to do, but getting the images to match the intent was extremely difficult. I am not kidding when I say my betas were instrumental in helping me make this. Their honesty and suggestions/ideas were extremely helpful.

I think, like any fanwork, it can be interpreted according to your view and approach to a character. I have lots of feelings and ideas on Sam and I have attempted to express them in this. But I accept that what I see and what others see/feel might be different.

For me, this is about how Sam got to the place he did when he confessed that his biggest sin is letting Dean down. I wanted to explore that and look at how Sam sees his "sins". I also wanted to look at what Sam has been through over the years and try and capture a little of that. He was completely broken at the end of S8 and even though I accept the story telling was uneven, I wanted to use what we were given.

Dean doesn't fair too well, but it's not about me looking down on the character but rather presenting a Dean that Sam was thinking about when he entered the confessional. I usually make vids about how their brotherly love saves them. I see this as more about how their love damages them (Ack! Those Winchesters and their co-dependance).

I have a heap of thoughts about the choices I've made and what moments represent in my mind. I won't explain them now, but if you have questions please ask. You know me, I love chatting about characters AND vidding. :))

Lyrics: here

Comments

[ash48.livejournal.com]

And my reaction is WOW also! That's such lovely feedback. Thank you. <3

I wanted to reconcile what Sam has been through to where he ended up in 8.23. I'm not sure S8 was entirely even, but one can see that Sam has been through a hell of a lot and in the end he really just wants Dean's approval. When it doesn't come (at times, for good reason) - it cuts pretty deep.

Thanks again for your response.
xx