New Vid: Hurt

[ash48]

banner by geckoholic Thanks! :)

Title: Hurt
Vidder: ash48
Song: Hurt by Johnny Cash
Category: Character study, angst
Length: 3.24m
Size 27.6mb
Summary: Dean's hurting in more ways than one.


Links: Watch: You Tube
Downloads:4shared (.avi) sendspace (.divx)

vid_the_grid prompt: angst/saddness

Thanks as always to _sharvie_. This was fantastic fun to work on together. Lots of meta discussions and talks about colour use etc. Thanks darlin' for your support as usual and for a fantastic beta job.

Big hugs and thanks to maichan808, secretlytodream and Toni (tiggeratl1) for their encouraging feedback and support. I submitted this to premiere at Winchestercon 09 so needed a wee bit of hand holding before I sent it! Thanks so much guys. *hugs*

Vid notes:

This song was first performed by Nine Inch Nails and later covered by Johnny Cash. I love his rendition and when I was tossing up whether to actually make this vid I heard it on the radio 3 times in one day AND happened to see the Johnny Cash music video, (which is very simple but powerful) and I figured it was a sign and went for it. :)

Angst vids are always my biggest challenge, but one that I thorougly enjoy. For this one it was primarily the lyrical interpretation. Some were quite straight forward but something like "the needle tears a hole" doesn't strictly relate to Dean as he's not doing drugs, so I chose to interpret the "needle" as Sam and the hole he's tearing is through Dean's heart, which then led to "the old familiar sting" and I saw this as being a feeling Dean has felt before and asssociated that with time when Sam has either betrayed him or has shown his darker side. I also wanted to link all those moments with shots that were associated blood (which appears again later in vid). There's more of course, but I won't bore you with the details! :)

I finished this before Season 5 started and worried that it might be a bit dated for Dean now, but in fact I think Dean is still carrying the guilt of not being there for Sam when he needed him most. Well, to me anyway.

No money made but feedback is gratefully accepted (and treasued in fact). If you do watch and are unsure on what I am trying to say with a particular interpretation feel free to ask me about it. :)

Comments

[dendritejungle.livejournal.com]

Unbelievable.

Not only does this bring home again how much I love this show, but really highlights Dean's pain in Season 4 in a more cohesive way than I'd properly realized while watching the season itself. You make me want to not only watch the season again, but to get more involved again in this amazing fandom that produces such incredible stuff.

That's a very thinky comment...I'm having trouble articulating just how deeply this vid touched me emotionally too. Bravo.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for your "thinky comment". (They are my favs!) Dean really had so much going on in season 4 didn't he? It was, ins some ways, such a hard season to watch, but in hindsight makes so much sense for where it's all going.

Thanks again for your lovely comment! :D

[tripoli.livejournal.com]

Ow.

Ow. Ow.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. Lot's of owies. Poor boys.

xx

[bionic.livejournal.com]

So beautiful! Wonderful video.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much hun! :D

[too-rational.livejournal.com]

Oh, ow ow ow OW. Oh, Dean!

*sobs quietly in the corner*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hugs* sorry about that. :( But, you know, glad you were moved by it.

Thanks for popping by! :)

[innie_darling]

What a beautiful vid.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! :D

[boom-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh so painfully perfect! The emotion is so strong and your coloring/blurring effects worked so well. An absolutely AMAZING vid.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much hun! So glad you liked it! :D

[destro.livejournal.com]

Goddamn, that was fantastic. Beautifully edited, and the way you looped it back in the end, to the beginning where it started to go sideways, just. Guh. Perfect.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. So glad you liked the end - wasn't sure how the idea was going to be accepted - Dean thinking about not making the deal.... but it's something I wanted to explore.

Thanks so much for watching and leaving such a lovely comment.
x

[brigid-tanner.livejournal.com]

Beautifully painful. Like the transition from Dean's tears to the highway, and the way some of the scenes were mostly black and white. I like Johhny Cash's version of this song even more than the original, and it fits Dean so well.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, something about the way he sings this song certainly connects more to Dean I think.

And I wanted the B&W to represent his inner conflict and emotions (or sometimes lack of it).

Thanks so much for watching and commenting! :D

[lnhart.livejournal.com]

Amazing. Wow. Ackles acts the hell out of these scenes and you reconnect them in a way that's even more affecting. Thanks!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Jensen certainly knows how to bring out the emotion. It's lovely to hear that you thought it was more affecting. :)

Thanks again.

[tskterata.livejournal.com]

This is an amazing vid. I don't watch many, as most vids seem to me to be just a collection of images cut in time to music, but this one told a story. You did a beautiful job with Dean's story, and I love the choice of music and images you used to tell it.

Bravo!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. That's lovely feedback indeed. Story telling has been something I have been working on, so I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed the story. :D :D Thank you.

[meg-tdj.livejournal.com]

Daaaaaaang... I don't usually get into Dean vids, but this one BROKE ME. Wow... crying here! *sniffle*

I love all the people you used on the first "everyone I know goes away", like Cassie and Pastor Jim as well as John and Mary. And using Sam's dark path as what's bringing Dean so much pain worked perfectly. And the end! "I would keep myself, I would find a way..." He wouldn't sell his sooooul! *sobs*

Excellent. Excellent, excellent, excellent.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yay Meg! Thank you so much honey! And I have to say I struggled a little with who to put in that secton "everyone goes away", I played with a few different people and settled on the ones I thought had the greatest impact in his life and even though we don't know a lot about Pastor Jim, I made the assumption that he had an impact and was important to Dean and Sam.

And yes. I know. The end. I really wanted to play with that very idea. If he knew all the pain that was forthcoming would he still sell his soul??? *meep*

Thanks so much for your lovely, lovely comment.

xx

[amalthia]

This was heart wrenching and perfect.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much! I'm thrilled you thought so.
xx

[minim_calibre]

Wow.

As much as I love this particular version of the song, I confess that my first though was "well how's the vidder going to do a vid to this without it going so over the top that I am watching my monitor from the hall?"

Why, through pacing and cutting and excellent clip choices, of course! You've managed to make something that is both blunt and subtle, and I'll be over here, watching it for a third time and making happy barking seal noises.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow! That's fantastic feedback Thank you so much. I'm..... yay! Thank you. :)

[jo-anne8.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

I was blown away by this vid!!!

You have brought everything Dean has had to suffer - together - seamlessly. The song sung by Johnny Cash fit perfectly! It just horrified me all over again to see the physical and mental torture that Dean has had to endure. He couldn't bear to live without his brother, so he chose the path that would keep his brother alive. The path that would give him 40 years in hell. The path that would make him watch his own brother fight against him and dangerously go near the dark side.

All of that was torturous to watch, and then you brought it all back to Dean's decision at the Crossroads. If Dean had let Sammy stay dead, then he wouldn't have had to suffer from the years in hell or the hell on earth as he watched Sammy turn against him. Sammy would not have broken the final seal and the apocalypse would not have started. Nor would there be a vessel for Lucifer.

And yet, even if Dean could turn back the hands of time, knowing what he knows now, but seeing Sammy dead, I think he would do it all over again.

Thank you so much for such a moving video. I also loved your 9 to 5 vid!!! You are very talented!!!


JoAnne :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hi JoAnne. Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback.

You summed it all up so perfectly. Everything that's happened (in terms of the pain) comes back to Dean making the deal....

It's such an interesting question about whether he would do it again if he knew all the pain it was going to bring ... and that's exactly the feeling/question I wanted to leave viewers with. So thank you. :)

[happywriter06.livejournal.com]

DDDDDDDDEEEEEEAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *manages to keep self from curling into a ball and crying*

Honestly, this is perfection. The song. The look. The closeups of Dean with the flashbacks. If I'd never watched the show, I'd know a lot about this character from watching the vid.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh dear... *hugs* (Hee! adore your icon!)

If I'd never watched the show, I'd know a lot about this character from watching the vid.

Wow - that's amazing feedback. Thank you so much! :D

[x5vale.livejournal.com]

GReat video!!! Really really awesome.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank you so much! :D

[chiiyo86.livejournal.com]

Great vid! And man, this Jensen guy is kinda good looking...

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And yes, he sure is! :D

[smilla02.livejournal.com]

My God

...

I can't even... WOW!

Whenever I'm going to try to explain why Dean's so hurt and heartbroken from now on I'm going to use this. This shows how it's not relate to Sam, even when it is all about Sam, not for a matter of blame or whose fault it is.

Great video, you ripped my heart out but I'm going to thank you for for doing it so well. :D

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Wow. That's lovely feedback. Thank you.

[fleshflutter.livejournal.com]

That was stunning. Truly and utterly. <33333

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hugs* hun! Thank you so much. Thrilled you thought so! :D

[july-july-july.livejournal.com]

Yep. This one kicked ass all over the place.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you darlin'! :D

xx

[suzmc.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie...this just broke my heart. Got alot of Dean regret and angst in the fic I'm working on and this just got me.

Bows down in envy at this wonderful thing you made.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :D :D

[moodswingers.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking and gorgeous, fantastic work. <3

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :D :D

[hollow-death.livejournal.com]

Is really fucking awesome!! XD

I really like how you put everything together! The song and clips is really well put together that feeds my angsty needs! XD

I was like awwwww-ing at the scene when Sam hit Dean and Dean collided with the mirror somehow me like this part a lot.

The last part was just.. it blew me away!

Thanks for sharing! Everyone needs their dose of wonderful angsty fanvid!

<3

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow! Thank you so much. :) Ooh I'm so glad you like that bit - it took quite a bit of tweaking for some reason. So I'm glad you liked it! :D

Thanks again! :D

[el1ie.livejournal.com]

Shit, shit shit, I've been sitting with this window open for two days now and I still can't think of any words that will ever, ever convey how utterly wonderful this vid is.

The story was heartbreaking for a start, I can't believe how you seemingly faultlessly you turned everything around to THE DEAL - yeah, we know Dean must wonder, but that was such profound editing - just jaw droppingly good. And talking of editing - oh. my. God. One of these day's you're going to have to make a post and tell me just how you did a lot of this stuff - but I know that even if I knew the technical aspects of it, that just won't cut it, because you have to have your deft intuitive hand to make something like this.

A true masterpiece, I'm so very torn between jumping up and down with the sheer joy of it's beauty and curling up in a corner and just weeping...

Whichever, I'll always bow down to your incredible talent, thanks so much for sharing. *hugs*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh wow Ellie!! Your comment has blown me away hun! Thank you so, so much. It means such a lot to me.

Hee! And I'm more than happy to share how I've done any of that. Most of it comes down to cross dissolves and playing around in "colour correct". :) (if there's anything in particular just let me know!)

Thanks so much again. Really. It's made my day. :D

*hugs*

[pindara.livejournal.com]

I've always loved Johnny Cash's cover of this song, but you made me love it even more. You capture the emotion of the song and of Dean beautifully. The clip choices were fantastic. Everything just fit wonderfully.

Thank you so much for sharing this lovely gem.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hi. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It is a wonderful version and actually I only heard it recently... I had no idea it was released 7 years ago. :) I'm go glad it worked for you.

:D