11.08 thinky and some pics

[ash48]

The Birth of Sam-Fucking-Winchester

I've been trying to pinpoint what it was that made me love this episode so much. It could be the wonderful acting by all the secondary characters (Nate Torrence as Sully was perfection), the sensitive directing by Richard Speight, Jr. (gosh, I hope he directs again), the funny and emotional script by Jenny Klein, or just the fact that it was a Sam-centric episode. I'd say it was all of those things, but mostly I think it was because this episode took the time to explore Sam's current headspace and give us the first step he ever took to become Sam-Fucking-Winchester.

Let's be honest, we really haven't been given a lot recently about where Sam's head is at. I'm not entirely sure we've been given much of Dean's either. The show seems to be hesitant to give us these kind of episodes for some reason. S11 seems to be turning a bit of a page by allowing itself to stop and take a moment to actually give us some decent character insight and PoV.

It is very likely that I'm high on the episode purely for the reason that the show actually acknowledged Sam's past and connected to something that's currently problematic for him. In the last 3 years an episode like this would have been skipped. We would have just been given Sam doing whatever he's about to do (something "stupid" possibly) from Dean's PoV and without any insight into how hard it is for him. I am just so fucking thrilled that they allowed this episode to actually happen. No matter where they head with this storyline, at least they've acknowledged that Sam is conflicted, terrified and confused about what he thinks he has to do.

This episode was about Sam needing to let go of his securities to face feels he has to do now. It was about reminding himself that he can face his fears, he can right his wrongs and he can be a (flawed) hero. It was about the moment he shook of his childhood "Sammy" (clinging to an imaginary friend) to becoming "Sam Fucking Winchester". I bawled like a baby because it was about a 9 year old Sam growing up way before his time and an adult Sam thinking God is asking him to do something horrific.

I also cried because as this was Sam's pov I could see the flaws in his perception. The way he thinks is so sad (same with the way Dean thinks). Their persistent guilt and un-worthiness is mind numbingly sad at times. :(

Sam's Sully

Sully was such an interesting character. On the surface he was a bumbling, insecure but loveable "monster" (seemingly played for laughs at first). But there was a deeper side. He was also flawed. He had good, loving intentions, but he had made a mistake and got an innocent person killed. Which resulted in others being killed. Just like someone else we know yes?

We could see that Zanna are attracted to children like themselves (or perhaps they evolve into the type the friend their human needs). Children project their personalities on their personal friend - they also project their needs onto them. It wasn't explained in the episode, but I thought the ones we saw were a reflection of their human counterpart. In that respect, I think Sully represented Sam's inner thoughts and conflicts. As a child, Sully was Sam's little voice in his head "you don't really want this". We know, through canon, Sam really didn't want the hunting life. In this episode we saw that he chose the hunting life because his "imaginary" friend was merely childish imagination and therefore needed to be brushed off. As an adult, Sully became the little voice that told him he was doing ok. As this was Sam's PoV it's possibly somewhat unreliable. We're just seeing his perception. So Sully gave Sam just what he needed to hear to move forward and take control of the lump in his throat he mentions at the end. Sully, like Sam, is well intentioned, but flawed. *sobs some more*

We can't underestimate how important the casting (and directing) of Sully was in this episode. He could have become a caricatured "clown", but instead we had a level of depth that, quite frankly, made this episode. That scene between Sam and Sully when Sam apologies to him for leaving him was beautiful. I had tears. *applauds* (it was also reminiscent of the scene in Shadow when they were preparing to leave for the hunt and Sam telling Dean he'll go back to school when they find dad).

Dean, Dean, Dean

I am so very torn about Dean at the moment. On the one hand we see the return of the snarky, badass, funny Dean from the past but he still seems to be lacking something. I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's the way he's constantly brushing off Sam's visions (how many times now has he mentioned the visions? Like, almost every episode?), or maybe it's just him trying to find his feet again after the MoC. It's ironic to me that that after moaning about the lack of Sam PoV for the last 3 years, I'm suddenly craving Dean's. Why can't they give us both?! We can see that Dean's scared about Sam's visions and belief he has to go to the cage, but why can't they give us more from him about that? Just let him say more to Sam. Let him go beyond "no, you're not doing that". I have a feeling they are making Dean shut down Sam purely to drive Sam away and make him do something without telling Dean. We just know Sam doesn't accept "no" without a fight. And I would like that Dean would know that also. Until we get the same kind of insight into what going on for Dean we don't know why he's just blatantly shutting Sam off. I'd also love to see more about the after affects of the last 2 season. He almost killed his brother - so far that's not been dealt with. Unless seeing a the funny, cocky, grumpy, charming Dean back again IS them dealing with it? We'll see. I'm hopeful there's a lot more to come on that.

There was something very important that happened to Dean in this episode though. I actually liked the character arc for him. We know Dean has always had difficulty with anything "supernatural" (Benny is the only exception I can think of). It's consistent that he wouldn't be comfortable with Sully (or his kind), so it was quite significant that he accepted Sully as a "good" weird by the end. I might even stretch that to say he even saw a bit of Sam in Sully. By accepting Sully, he was accepting Sam - (I'm still not convinced Dean is over what he said to him in S9, or even his actions in S10). I'm not sure that was the intention of the writer, but it meant a lot that Dean acknowledged him.

And Dean didn't kill anyone (which I worried he might once he was free from the ropes), and was rather soften by the end. He realised that he wasn't always there for Sam (because seriously, how could he be?) but was grateful someone/thing was. I thought maybe during the final scene Dean was going to have a proper discussion with Sam about his visions and strange belief he has to go back to the cage, but it wasn't to be. I suspect it will become part of Sam's motivation for whatever's coming next (it reminds me of Hunted when Dean asked Sam for more time to work it out. Sam said he would then went off on his own to find answers). I'm not happy they are playing it that way (we've been here many times before), but that's the way they seem to like to play it.

Wee!chesters

Dean in the flashback worked for me because I think John would have called Dean away to hunt with him. I have ready many fanfics where this is the premise so it seemed very much part of my head-canon. Dean would have hated it, but the fact is that Dean can't always there for Sam. Especially when John gave an order. It's canon that Dean followed orders, so this was very much in keeping with that canon.

I appreciate the concerns (that I've been seeing around the place) that John also ordered Dean to "watch out for Sammy" and then dragged him away from Sam. I don't mind the contradiction because I think John was a mess of contradictions anyway. He'd expect Dean to look out for Sam, but he'd also except him to accompany him on a hunt if he needed him. He didn't think Sam was ready for hunting and yet left him along in a motel room. More evidence of the screwed up childhood the boys had.

The new wee!Sam worked for me also. No doubt Colin is a hard act to follow but this young actor was great (come on, you would have all loved him if he was the first ever wee!Sam). His eyes spoke volumes and he had the right feel. And, um, actually I think he's the Sam I always imagined when I read those fics years ago. I loved that scene on the bed between him and Sully (significant that Sully was on Dean's bed) and then later when he ditched Sully (reminded me of the scene in Shadow when they were packing to leave and Sam said he needed to move on once they found dad).


Niggles

Even my fave eps have issues. ;)

I have no idea why Sam thinks he has to go back to the cage. He's prayed, he's had images of the cage and now he think God wants him to go back there? I just don't get why that would be his first thought. But ok. He's possibly had inner feelings about that. But how on earth does he think he's going to do it? Don't answer that!! It took a whole season for them to find a key to unlock it (horseman rings) so I am sure it will only take one episode for them to find a back door (Taxi Driver anyone?). It's weird that Sam and Dean are talking about it as though it's just a matter of popping down there. Even Dean hasn't said "it's not happening! Not just because I don't want you to do that, but we have no way of opening it anyway!".

Sam thinking Sully was imaginary at the age of nine is a stretch. I would think if Sully appeared to him after he knew about monsters it would have had him terrified. But, I can hand-wave it because I know Sully was a instrument to show us Sam's shedding of his childhood. And maybe Sam desperately needed someone like him then. *sniff*

So much for the bunker being impenetrable by supernatural beings.

Notable

According to the writer, Sully's rainbow braces were a shout-out to Mork (Robin Williams from Mork and Mindy). *cries*

The actress keeping a straight face with glitter blood all over her face. Loved that whole scene. *applauds*

Dean thinks families showering together is what keeps them together. He knows from experience I'd say.

Air guitar. *awesome*. Dean's "he's no Clapton" *even more awesome*

Boys in cardigans. <3 WITH Bert and Ernie reference. *ded*

And did you notice the wallpaper and the bed frames? They are the same as the episode we first saw the wee!chesters in Something Wicked. How awesome is that?! Note that the room dividers have changed from the bowling theme to a farmyard theme.


















This episode is up there as one of my fave Sam-centric eps. My first is probably Mystery Spot, followed by When the Levee Breaks. It was able to do what those earlier episodes did with Sam - show us inside his head, rather than us having to second guess him.



Poll is posted here.

Comments

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

1.I would have preferred to have seen something a little more specific; was there a traumatic event that triggered Sully? If so what was it?

2.By the time we saw Sam and Sully, how long had the two been together?

3.I also didn't buy into the rejection scene. It just didn't ring true to me for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on.

4.Since when was Sam gun-ho about hunting? He was the one who wanted out. They alluded to that with Sully, and Sully seemed to be trying to encourage Sam, but Sam ditches Sully for the hunt?

5.it seems to be more of the role reversal between the brother's that they've been shoving down our throats since season 8.

Apparently now Dean was the rebel who wanted 'normal' and Sam is the good soldier who ditches his friend for the hunt. I'm not liking this reversal at all, it smacks of bad retcon.

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

6.The child's need for an imaginary friend were not made clear at all. doting overly concerned parents who indulged her every wish. She needed an imaginary friend so that she could manipulate them? That was a very unflattering characterization. And the second little girl had a pool and a mother driving her to fun activities like gymnastics. So the need for the imaginary friend was inconsistent.

7.Jenny Klein appears to be improving, but we still had the "brother knocked out and tied up" trope, though this time is was Dean, "boys split up and one of them gets into trouble as the other is lured into a trap" trope, and the "bad guy monologue" trope too. Basic episode writing 101.

8.Dean, Dean, Dean. You are getting on my very last nerve bud. He shut Sam down at every turn. He was unsupportive, rude and irritating as crap. He didn't take Sam's imaginary friend issue seriously at all, didn't use Sully's presence to better understand Sam or seem at all curious about why Sam needed an imaginary friend to begin with, and was rude to Sully and all the other Zanna even though all of them were doing good things and helping kids. And Dean's sudden reversal at the end of the episode the whole "you were there for my brother" stuff that helped to talk down the bad gal was not earned AT ALL.

loved the Sam and Sully scenes.

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

9. We didn't see even one iota of what precipitated Dean's sudden change of heart which seemingly came out of the blue.

10. It was almost like they gave that speech to Jensen to give him something to do in an episode that was largely about Sam. It didn't ring true and was unsupported by Dean's behavior before that moment AND after it too. Dean's sudden change of heart lasted for all of about five minutes, because later in the car he was back to his normal stance saying "good talk" and shutting Sam down and not even listening to what he had to say nor offering any other solutions to the problems of the cage. Grrr. I know that they are laying the groundwork for Sam going off on his own, and for that I am grateful so that Sam isn't lambasted for "running away" as is usually is.

But what I'd really like to see is the brothers working on this TOGETHER! And to do that Dean has to LISTEN to Sam and TALK about the problem instead of just avoiding everything like he usually does. Is it too much to ask that the boys actually have a conversation? Apparently it is.

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Part of what was so refreshing in "Baby" was that it showed the brothers having ordinary conversation, including about Sam's visions. The end scene with "boys in the car" that closes out 90% of the episodes end that way. The thing I don't understand, when did I miss Sam being told by God to go back into the cage with Lucifer?

Even so Sam kept going after Dean shut him down.

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

7.Jenny Klein appears to be improving, but we still had the "brother knocked out and tied up" trope, though this time is was Dean, "boys split up and one of them gets into trouble as the other is lured into a trap" trope, and the "bad guy monologue" trope too. Basic episode writing 101.

Yeah, Dean tied up...sigh. I wish they could come up with some other way for one brother to be helpless.

Villain monologue is EVERYWHERE. And I mean EVERYWHERE. But this time since it was a dialogue between Sully and Reese, which I found touching, I enjoyed it much more. This is one trope I wish would roll over and die.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

6. I didn't take that from those scenes I have to say. I just saw lonely children. And, I'm not sure how deliberate that was, but they were also only-children. So I think it was more about loneliness (as Sam stated) and not neglect or trauma. The manipulation with the first child was there to show us that Sparkles was "good" - making sure his human wasn't manipulative. He's the one who said go with them. The lonely aspect made it consistent for me.

7. Yeah. That trope is indeed tired (though I am a sucker for tied up boys! :D). But the baddie monologuing is annoying, I agree.

8. *nods* I'm with you there. I am hoping reversal was some sort of insight for Dean. And I actually think they are trying to make Dean "lighter" - going for the laughs etc. but him shutting down Sam speaks to me of something deeper. Either, it's to make Sam do something "stupid" or Dean is influenced by the darkness and doesn't want Sam to find a solution. We'll see. ;)

So yeah. I can see why the episode didn't work for you. I think because I didn't have those concerns (well, some), it worked for me much more. :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for doing this!! It's interesting to read your thoughts and ponder your questions.

I didn't have a problem with Sully and Sam; many children have imaginary friends (myself included). It doesn't take a traumatic event, mostly an active imagination.

But I agree with the rejection scene. It didn't work for me, either. I get the most out of the episode when I ff through the young Sam parts.

I don't understand the role reversal. Dean still lives to hunt and it's the only thing he's okay with doing.

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

sure.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Looks like you started quite the discussion! I hope you don't mind if I address some of these and my take on them. Though I totally accept everyone will have their own reaction to the episode. :)

1. It might have been interesting to know exactly when Sully first appeared to Sam, but I personally didn't feel we needed it. My take is loneliness brought about Sully. I accept that Sam had a lonely childhood - even with Dean there. Canon has shown us that Dean has walked out a couple of times (even if only for a few hours) so it's not a stretch to think that maybe he did that a few times. From the clown episode we know Sam was left in that place when Dean needed some time to himself.

2. Hard to know. Probably a few years. My head canon now is probably 3 years, on and off.

3. The rejection scene cut really deep for me. I know it will affect everyone differently, but I saw the moment Sam left his childhood behind forever. Nine was such a major year for Sam - found out about monsters, given a gun, His life was changing and it was time to finally grow up. Though, I think it was Sully's reaction that got to me the most. Just him seeing Sam accept hunting as his life and thinking about how he failed Sam.

4. For me, it was more about him being with Dad and Dean. He wanted to be accepted by them. I think Sully knew what was in Sam's heart, but at that time just being asked to be there on a hunt was him being accepted by his family. I think he still hated the idea of hunting, but desperately needed to be with his family.

5. Hmm, yeah I would agree. I think they have been attempting to show us a role reversal (Sam saving Dean etc), but I feel that S11 has been more in keeping with the Sam and Dean we used to know (though I have issues with Dean's characterisation at the moment).

Apparently now Dean was the rebel who wanted 'normal' and Sam is the good soldier who ditches his friend for the hunt.

I'm not sure where we've seen that? I haven't seen Dean wanting normal this season. Or even the last couple. Flashback Dean was keen to hunt.

[percysowner.livejournal.com]

I want to address the idea that Sam was suddenly gung ho to hunt. Kids often are gung ho to do something and once they find out the reality of the whatever they decide that what sounded good in theory really isn't something they want to actually do. There are thousands, if not millions of band instruments sitting in attics because a kid wanted to play [insert instrument here] and the parents went and bought one and after 2 lessons and not practicing the kid decides that they no longer want to play [insert instrument here].*

Sam found out that his family hunts. He wants to feel more a part of his family. He approached it in a very Sam way, studying what needed to be done, what kills what. But like playing an instrument, or taking ballet lessons or all of the activities that kids try and then discard, Sam found out that he didn't like hunting. Unlike all those other kids who find that something they thought they wanted to do didn't pan out, once Sam was in hunting he couldn't get out. John was not going to lose a good asset. So Sam not only doesn't want to hunt. He learns to hate it, partly because he can't leave and partly because it's violent (Sam doesn't like killing he tries to avoid it) and dangerous (Sam has always said he wants to feel safe).

NOTE: Always rent an instrument first. It save the frustration of having to sell it back to the store at a loss and you can always buy an instrument if it sticks. Says the mother of the girl who wanted to play clarinet for about 3 weeks. (We rented so it was good).

Re:

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh I totally love this. He doesn't exactly know what it means to "hunt" but it sound so damn cool (like the electric guitar) he just has to do it (and the fact that he's not allowed make our Sam Winchester want it even more). Once he faces the reality of it, it's nothing he wants. And that fits with canon.

Says the mother of the girl who wanted to play clarinet for about 3 weeks. (We rented so it was good).

Good call! (same with my parent swhen I wanted to play the cello. It lasted 2 years, but luckily they didn't buy me one).

Thanks for this. :)

[sam-dean-lover.livejournal.com]

sure, not at all these were issues that really prevented me from enjoying the episode fully