Oh, man, yes, it has been very hard at times. And a long process. I am in such a zen place with SPN now, but it's taken me years to get there, I think. The show I fell in love with has been gone for almost a decade, now! That's hard to grok. But the fandom, the things people create, sustain those feelings and engagement for me. And I think because it was not my first (or second) rodeo—yes, it helps immensely that I have other fandoms, though only one (Highlander) have I sustained intense interest in for this length of time.
I have so much sympathy for the way you're feeling. My first long-lived and intense fandom was Star Trek, and when we broke up, it was painful and sad. I think, just as in RL, the first breakup is the hardest—never mind when it happens after many years of devotion. I've tried to go back to Trek, but I can't. SPN might be like that for you. But just know that you will be missed, and if you find your way back, that's okay, too!
I think at this point, I don't know how to quit fandom at large, but sometimes quitting a particular fandom (or a trial separation) is best for your peace of mind. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now, and not much time for fandom, anyway. But when you need another fandom, one will come along. :) {{{{{more hugs}}}}}
At the moment I'm feeling like a want/need a break from fandom more than the actual show (even though the show has been painful in many ways for a while now). Not the people as such, but just the responses to the show. I know I court that by posting reactions (and I've been very lucky to have very civil discussions), but I feel like I'd like to watch the show next season without being involved in fandom so I can, well, just enjoy it for the show (or not, but then let it go if I don't like it). Or something.
Ugh. I dunno. It's messy and I haven't worked it out yet.
Yes, you know, now that you mention it, it was the fandom that soured me on Trek, not the show—well, that's probably obvious, since the show ended before I was born. :D But that experience taught me how to keep my distance and gave me a little bit tougher skin, I think. It's both easier and harder these days to keep your distance from the toxic elements of a fandom. Easier because you can find the people you want to share your fannish experience with, but harder because there's so much input if you're not careful, and it's only one or two clicks to get to toxic territory.
Anyway, sounds like you're doing the right thing for you, right now. On the bright side, LJ being a bit of a dustbowl is probably a good thing. You can always come back here and visit with us dinosaurs if you want to. :)
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Date: 2016-06-10 02:09 pm (UTC)I have so much sympathy for the way you're feeling. My first long-lived and intense fandom was Star Trek, and when we broke up, it was painful and sad. I think, just as in RL, the first breakup is the hardest—never mind when it happens after many years of devotion. I've tried to go back to Trek, but I can't. SPN might be like that for you. But just know that you will be missed, and if you find your way back, that's okay, too!
I think at this point, I don't know how to quit fandom at large, but sometimes quitting a particular fandom (or a trial separation) is best for your peace of mind. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now, and not much time for fandom, anyway. But when you need another fandom, one will come along. :) {{{{{more hugs}}}}}
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Date: 2016-06-10 02:21 pm (UTC)At the moment I'm feeling like a want/need a break from fandom more than the actual show (even though the show has been painful in many ways for a while now). Not the people as such, but just the responses to the show. I know I court that by posting reactions (and I've been very lucky to have very civil discussions), but I feel like I'd like to watch the show next season without being involved in fandom so I can, well, just enjoy it for the show (or not, but then let it go if I don't like it). Or something.
Ugh. I dunno. It's messy and I haven't worked it out yet.
But thank you. *hugsss*
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Date: 2016-06-10 02:28 pm (UTC)Anyway, sounds like you're doing the right thing for you, right now. On the bright side, LJ being a bit of a dustbowl is probably a good thing. You can always come back here and visit with us dinosaurs if you want to. :)