ash48 | Nothing like a bit of LJ therapy...

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Nothing like a bit of LJ therapy...

Ahhhh yes. LJ. There's no place like my internet home. *snuggles* I've been feeling so (stupidly) down recently and I finally got up the energy to visit LJ again and it's amazing how my spirits lifted. There's nothing quite like coming to a place that feels so comfortable.... hmmm.... is that weird?

I think it must have all started with the internet being denied me on SPN night, and thus also missing the post show squee, followed by a ridiculously busy weekend, being back at work and finishing a vid that just doesn't work. In any way. *sigh*

Which leads me to a question to fellow vidders... How often, if at all, do you ditch a vid? And not just a vid idea, but one that you've actually spent quite a bit of time on? To the point of finishing even? And if it's not working do you work it until you got it right or clock it up as a fail and move on? I realise this might be dependent on the actual vid, but maybe I'm just needing to know that I'm not the only one to make a vid that just doesn't work. *meep* or maybe I am.

I kinda didn't mind ditching my Jo and Ellen vid because I suppose I didn't connect to it so much (plus I'm thinking of resurrecting it in a different way later on - maybe), but I'm finding I do mind ditching this one because I am quite attached to it but have NO idea how to fix it. And it's pissing me off and depressing me at the same time. :(

Oh bugger. I'm wearing my heart of my sleeve. But maybe the therapy works both ways....

In happier news I finally caught up with my show and.... LOVE!!!! \o/ There's heaps to squee about but the only one that I'll mention is how impressed I was with the performances. I find myself often watching performances (probably the actor in me) and I enjoyed the honesty and convictions the actor's brought to what might have been somewhat cheesy or awkward moments. A very satisfying episode.

That's me. Strangely I'm already feeling more energised. :)

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There's one vid I abandoned, but three times I put vids down for months before returning to them and finishing them. (In one case, I put it down for months, went back to it, put it down, went back to it - and finished it about a year after I started). So sometimes, for me, it's a question of putting a vid aside until I have a clearer handle on it.

Anyway, good luck!

I second this. Sometimes you just need some perspective on what you are trying to do. Or sometimes what you want to do isn't working, but after time, you learn something new and then what you want to do changes. Then a new vid could be born, but one which builds on all the previous work you've done.

Or you could make a copy of project, and do some radical experimentation with what you already have, without destroying your original idea. Try something that seems bizarre. Maybe it will give you a new idea. You can always go back to what you originally intended later. Good luck.

I have been thinking about some radical experimentation actually - a thought did strike me, but I'll have to play to see if it could work.

Unfortunately with this one it seems that the song choice is the problem (that's the feedback I've received anyway), so just by changing that might help it. Assuming I can find another suitable song...

Thanks so much. <3

Thank you. I may well revisit this one a few times if I can figure out what to do. And I agree that putting it aside for a while helps - I just get very impatient at times! :D

Thanks again hun. <3

I ditch a lot of vids, especially lately...I have already accumulated three almost finished vids in my folder! I deleted 2 just one month ago (and promply regretted it because one was pretty cool), and the other one has been sitting in there and I foresee it's going to be a loooong waiting.

The worst part about this is all that time I lost on them :/ But I just lost interest in the middle, I guess.

It's the time that I regret the most. I just hate that I've spent so many hours on it with out the satisfaction of posting it. That's stings the most. But I can't post something half baked.

I probably won't delete it (I have deleted 2 others - ages ago) but it may just sit there annoying me that I need to do something with it....

Thanks honey. I don't know why hearing that other people ditch vids makes me feel a bit better...

*hugs*

Can I agree with you on the acting? Both Amy and Matt were brilliant as John and Mary - and they were tough roles. Stand out too were the scenes of John and Sam, and Mary and Dean. In particualr I thought Jared did brilliantly with that amazing scne where he finally gets to tell his father he loves him. I also thought the transformation fo John to Michael was handled so well. You could sense the family resemblance to Lucifer!

Also again,Dean seems to have a lot of chemistry with his father when he is possessed!

and while i don't vid, its taken me years to get used to dropping a story i am writing, but its actually been quite liberating.

also - welcome back to LJ!

Thank you darlin'. :D

And it was the John and Sam scene and the Mary and Dean scene that really stood out for me too. I felt Jared really digging deep to bring truth to that moment - but doing it with a nice subtly. It could have easily been overly melodramatic. But Mary was the one... the way she took each of Dean's bombshells was just lovely. I can't imagine that that would have been an easy scene to do. I reckon Jensen helps - he comes across as a very giving and dedicated actor, which would help whom ever he's working with. (I also think this has probably helped Jared's development as an actor over the years as well *g*).

Fantastic casting really. *happy sigh* what a great episode. I haven't had a chance to read many posts or meta about it yet. I assuming there's lots of squee. :)

its taken me years to get used to dropping a story i am writing, but its actually been quite liberating.

Yes. It's damn hard to let go. Well, annoying that I have to really. But I figure there's also something to be said for acknowledging it just ain't working and moving on. We'll see. I still want to work it a bit. I just can't let all those lovely SamnDean moments go to waste!!

Thanks for popping in hun! <3

but I'm finding I do mind ditching this one because I am quite attached to it but have NO idea how to fix it. And it's pissing me off and depressing me at the same time. :(

I think if this vid came out of your heart but doesn't make it into the audience it must feel like a birth stuck half way. If you can't find a way to fix it or deal with it, it might help to understand your personal feelings that made you create the vid and take them back into your heart. (If this sounds like weird advice that's because I'm a weird person...)

I already told you that I deleted a finished vid and I think I gave up on one or two half way through. But with them being picvids and that way being finished much quicker I think my heart is not that attached to them. (Looks like I'm not a full blood vidder after all - lol.)

And I agree with the last episode squee \o/ (Who doesn't..)

Oh honey. Have I told you how much I love you!

it might help to understand your personal feelings that made you create the vid and take them back into your heart.

Oh man. I tearing up here. Honestly. I wonder if this is why it's hurt so much knowing it doesn't work? I don't usually get this down on myself about a vid not working. It happens. But this one....? Maybe that's it. Too close maybe...

I think my heart is not that attached to them. (Looks like I'm not a full blood vidder after all - lol.)

I am sure your heart is attached to them. I don't think anyone can find the time or inspiration if it's not. Anything creative has to come from the heart I reckon.

I know I can be overly sensitive and being down is more about the failing part than just not having a vid work. And failing to recognise that it isn't working myself. I had to have other people tell me that it's not. So it's kinda like double fail.

Right. 'nuff of that stuff.

Episode was MADE OF WIN!! I have to see it again. I usually don't watch eps again because I know I will be looking at the footage heaps when I vid, but this one.... \o/

Thanks so much darlin'. *hugs*

The worst ditch I've had is my 3/4 done "Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing" about Dean making the deal in S2. I wish so much I had finished and posted it, but I just lost momentum at one point and was never able to get it back. (During the summer after S4 I thought about revisiting it as a Dean vs. Sam Bad-Thing Competition, but had too many other fun vid ideas to work on.)

I know it's hard. I hope you can decide what to do with it that makes you happy. <333

Oh man! It probably won't help to say I would have loved to have seen a vid to that song. I've listened to it myself and wondered what could be done with it. Such a great song..

Thanks for everything Dei. I really appreciate it. Still not sure what to do. Inspiration may hit me, or another song might present itself... I'll keep my mind open and hopefully something with drop into it!

*hugs*

I've never ditched a vid.

That's not to say that maybe I shouldn't have. :-) But I don't normally open up my vidding program until I'm damned sure I can make a project work. I do a lot (most) of my prep inside my head. Which is why I'd mulled Raise It Up over for more than two months before actually vidding it.

Good luck, babe.

But I don't normally open up my vidding program until I'm damned sure I can make a project work.

Generally this is me too. I think long and hard about a vid before I start it because my time is so limited. I often even send a song to my beta to see if she thinks it has potential. So yeah. I try to make sure it's going to work.

But sometimes I am so taken with an idea and/or song I am sure it's going to work and go for it. And most times it works out ok. "9 to 5" was totally like that. Heard the song, planned the vid, went for it...

So this one took me by surprise because it felt so right. Though admittedly I didn't spend anytime planning it. Which I think might be where it failed. I was so taken by the idea (looking at what we (and the boys) have lost, in terms of their relationship, over the last 2 seasons), that I didn't give enough thought to the structure. Nor the song. Which seems to be the biggest problem. I mean Barbara Streisand....?! *eep* (though I like to take risks sometimes as well....)

Thanks honey. I try to look upon these as learning curves... :)

*hugs*

Barbra Streisand?! =:-0

Now I'm intrigued.

What song by Babs did you try and vid for our boys?

Um... The Way We Were...

I was going for a kind of nostalgia, mixed with a kind of tongue in cheek nudge at fandom for the way we lament the "good 'ole days" and at the same time comparing some of those heart breaking "welcome back kotter" lines with "as long as I'm around nothing bad's gonna happen to you" lines...

Just not quite getting the mix right. But I'd like to. The idea of seeing where we are now and reflecting back appeals to me a bit..

"How often, if at all, do you ditch a vid? And not just a vid idea, but one that you've actually spent quite a bit of time on? To the point of finishing even? "

Unfortunately...way too often.

I fail when it comes to finishing vids (maybe one out of four projects gets posted). My 'In Progress' folder is packed, and I even have a folder of 'dead vids', ones that are essentially done but there was just something about them that didn't feel right. (Those are the worst because you get SO CLOSE!! At one point I just gave up and made a 'Purgatory' section on my LJ, so they could at least get posted somewhere :P)

But, I don't think I've ever deleted a vid project. I'm always hoping I'll go back at one point or another and resurrect them... and it does happen. My last vid went back and forth for months before I finally got it finished. Sometimes it even works out better, especially in AU's, because new clips come out which will inspire a new scene, or there'll be a new song that works better with the storyline.

" I'm finding I do mind ditching this one because I am quite attached to it but have NO idea how to fix it. And it's pissing me off and depressing me at the same time. :("

Ah, been there. Maybe take a break from it for awhile? Sometimes when you can look at it with fresh eyes you can see what's missing.

(maybe one out of four projects gets posted)

Oh wow. So, I'm wondering. Do you decide the vid is no good or do you get feedback that tells you so? I mean, how do you know for sure it's not working? That's a stupid question I know, because I get that you can "just know". For me I need other people to tell me it's not working (as in this case), because I seem to totally fail at recognising that myself. I mean, I get a "sense" that it's not right, but usually I need to be told blatantly that it just ain't got it for me to believe it. I'm lucky I have peeps who are honest enough to tell me. :)

Maybe take a break from it for awhile?

Yeah - that's my feeling. I'm really needing to either change the song or be clever enough to make it work with the song...(honestly, who would pick Barbara Streisand for SPN??!!) the latter seems too daunting at the moment.

*hugs* Thanks for sharing that honey. *hugs*

(a million edits because I can't seem to type at this time of night.. )

Edited 2010-02-09 13:44 (UTC)

"Do you decide the vid is no good or do you get feedback that tells you so?"

Actually, when I have a beta, that's usually when vids get finished, as they can almost always pinpoint what's wrong and help me revise it to a point where I'm happy to post it. I haven't had a real beta in awhile though, so now I mostly just go by what I feel when I watch the vid back. If there's no connection to the finished product (like if I don't find a humor vid funny or if an angst vid just seems cheesy) I stow the project away for a later time until I can make it funny or angsty or whatever it's supposed to be.

"I'm really needing to either change the song or be clever enough to make it work with the song...(honestly, who would pick Barbara Streisand for SPN??!!) the latter seems too daunting at the moment."

Ha. Well I am totally of the opinion that ANY song can work ;) but if you're fighting so hard against the music, sometimes it is just better to change the song. Or if its the song that's the main focus, wait a couple episodes. You never know what new clips you'll get or storylines they'll introduce which might help you make it work.

Hope you get it hun and always willing to take a look if you need feedback.

Well I am totally of the opinion that ANY song can work

Ah. Yes, well me too usually - that's why I wasn't too daunted by it initially. But now.... hmmm....

always willing to take a look if you need feedback.

I might just take you up on that. There's a couple things I know I can play with and then I might see what it's like and send it over. Thanks! *hugs*

*hugs* I haven't ditched a vid yet, but I think it's only because I'm not that prolific to begin with and my obsessive personality type does not allow me to leave creative projects unfinished.

I do agree with others' suggestion to revisit the project at a later date instead of trying to force something out right now. I truly hope you don't abandon it altogether though, as I do think it's definitely worth saving.

Hey honey. Thanks so much - I hope I don't abandon it either. I really want to work something out...

It's weird how recently I've been getting comments about missing them smiling and the bond they used to have and it's making me more determined to work it out...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)

xx

I've ditched two full vids in my vidding-life.

One because I got most of the way through and I realized that I didn't really have enough (or enough visually varied) source to make the vid as I had abstractly conceptualized it. And my juice/muse/interest had kind of run out by the time I realized that, so I scrapped several weeks worth of clipping, cutting and time-line work. Ugh, sad. But a good call because I don't think it would have made a good final vid.

The second one, I pretty much realized I didn't like it anymore and I wasn't sure anyone else would either. Maybe I'll go back to that one someday, but...probably not.

It totally happens though! You are definitely not alone.

Thanks hun. It's been interesting hearing other peoples experiences. It seems most people ditch vids every now and then.

I've only ditched 3 so far (this will be my forth if I decide to ditch this one).. and mostly because the idea just didn't work.

Thanks for dropping by. :)
xx

I ditched the Life on Mars mashup after four weeks of work due to unsolvable technicalities. But if my new program has the resources I will try it again.

I guess I usually don't start a vid unless I know where I'm going to end up with it.

I guess I usually don't start a vid unless I know where I'm going to end up with it.

Yes. I try to never start a vid unless I know where I'm going with it. This one I was pretty sure about. I think that's what makes it so hard.

Live and learn I suppose. Though I still hope to fix it somehow.. :)

How often, if at all, do you ditch a vid?
Methinks you've heard my wails on this subject. I've officially deleted 2 vids - one, all but finished (I have several tucked away). Thing is, I knew they weren't working long before but, stubborn as I am, I flogged that dead horse:P
It was actually quite liberating to be free of them in the end (because I knew it was the right move). Funnily, it wasn't so much the loss of the vid but rather my time, that annoyed me most; time that could've been spent more productively.

I think most people, no matter the creative pursuit, have that feeling when they know something is working or not.
If you're attached to the vid you're working on now, then there's merit in the idea - it just might not be the time and place for it now. I don't doubt that new scenes/inspiration will come your way and a new window of opportunity will open up for it *hugs*

Funnily, it wasn't so much the loss of the vid but rather my time,

Exactly. I hate that I've spent so much time on it for it never to see the light of day. It's like, do I continue to try and make it work and potentially waste even more time or let it go peacefully...

think most people, no matter the creative pursuit, have that feeling when they know something is working or not.

That's part of the problem. I really felt like it was working until I received the feedback for it (as you know, I seek out opinions before I post), and all three basically agreed that it has problems. Each one citing different things and thus I realised there's a heap to fix!

And unfortunately the problem isn't footage, it's my the song choice. I've very attached to the idea and that's why I don't want to let it go.

Thanks honey. Just writing this has clarified a few things for me. :)

*hugs*

I ditched one that I was essentially finished, but couldn't make work. (I ended up posting it as a WIP in a WIP amnesty post.)

I ditched quite a few more before they ever got to that point.

I have one that's been on hold for about five years now, just sitting in limbo for when I come rescue it.

(I ended up posting it as a WIP in a WIP amnesty post.)

Wow - what a cool idea. At least it would get to see the light of day. :)

I have one that's been on hold for about five years now, just sitting in limbo for when I come rescue it.

Oh boy. 5 years! Here's hoping you'll resurrect it one day! :)

Thanks hun.
xx

I think I need LJ.

It's kinda weird I think. But for those few days nothing could cheer me up. Then I visited some of my flist and felt immediately better. Though I think you have to be in the mood...

Ooh and that vid sounds interesting... here's hoping you'll have another crack at it! :)

Thanks so much for popping in! :D

Does quitting vidding altogether count? *lol* I don't know why but I just couldn't finish that Being Human vid and never went back. And that was two-three years after I stopped vidding before that.

I think I realized I'm much better suited as a beta than a vidder. I was always trying to find reasons to stay out of the vidding program. That should have been a sign. *lol*

But I know whatever you decide to do, you wont give up vidding completely. I think the megawail across fandom at your leaving would leave a permanent hole in the Internet. So even if you do shelve this, you'll come up with something marvelous next time. But I think, from what I've seen, that you can pull this out. Just stay close to your emotional connection to it, and you should be able to make it bloom.

And yeah, I came looking for this post after you mentioned it. :)

I would definitely say if you're looking for reasons to stay out of your vidding program it's a sure sign you're not enjoying it. I figure that will happen to me one day - I thought it would have happened before now actually. :)

I think the megawail across fandom at your leaving would leave a permanent hole in the Internet.

OMG. What a lovely thing to say. *blushes* Hee! I have no plans to stop yet - unless my muse keeps doing this to me. I'm always scared that I'll keep making vids like this one - ones that just don't come up to scratch. I think the sheer frustration of that would probably stop me.

Just stay close to your emotional connection to it, and you should be able to make it bloom.

Thanks darlin'. I can't believe how "connected" I feel to this - but the realist in me knows that really no one would probably want to watch a vid that basically re-hashes all that old footage and worn to death bro!moments. Not to mention listen to the song... I don't think I would. :/

I think I need an idea that uses more recent stuff..... *ponders*....

Thanks as always for your support and honesty. You know I appreciate so much.
*hugs*

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Nothing like a bit of LJ therapy...

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