ash48 | 10.19 reaction...

It's been a bloody long time but….

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Oh you stupid, fucked up, compelling damn show. I hate you and love you at the same time! Currently I love you because, damn it's great when you pick a direction and stick to it for a while.

The thing is, I really don't need much. Some Sam pov, some thought-provoking Dean pov and an examination of this crazy, messed up relationship and I am, once again, a happy fan girl. Seriously, just being allowed to get inside Sam's head takes me to a better place with the show. I almost feel I could take out much of what happened in S8 and S9 and accept this Sam and as the one who reacted to Dean disappearing at the end of S7 and I could be fully on track again (yeah yeah, I know there's a bigger discussion here but for now I just want to take what I can get…).

I loved this episode. It was intense and thought provoking. I ADORED that we re-visited purgatory - it was the perfect place to go for the MoC!Dean. It showed the constant, inner desire to kill with his ability to control it. The very fight that's going on inside him. I love that we SAW this, not just had to work it out from him staring into a mirror. Jensen and Ty have such great chemistry - I could watch those two on screen for ages. Those scenes were some of my favourite.

And wow, Sam. It's so hard for me to talk about Sam with bringing into what he's been through in the last 2 season but I feel like I need to. Sam's been "re-set" (and I know there's probably a tome of meta in all that, but no time at the moment) so we now get to see him being absolutely desperate to save Dean. And I mean, ready to kill himself to do so. Damn, that's dark and messed up (and I love it!). How interesting that Sam is still ready to die. Dean wasn't, but Sam was. That's so intriguing to me. Dean could cut through the hallucination, but Sam couldn't (and I was fooled too! I love being surprised…). I wonder if they'll explore this more later on. Sam still believes his death will make things better. *sniff* Oh Sammy...

Much like the last two episodes, we are still exploring the intensity of Sam and Dean's relationship. And as I said in my latest reaction, I much rather seeing it in this way - stupid, blind love and devotion - rather than in the way we've been seeing it over the last couple of years - with hopelessness, deceit and bitterness.

I know what we're seeing is like a broken down record. It's the same part of the tune being played over and over again - sacrifice with dire consequences over and over and over. But it's crazy compelling - especially when we're getting even pov.

I loved how much this episode focussed on the brothers - in all their messed up glory. It was particularly curious to hear Dean apologise for ditching Sam and saying "we're better together", when he's really not the one needing to understand that. Dean has always thought they were better together. It was almost like he was confirming that for himself, and reminding Sam - we can fight this together. I'm hoping that's an acceptance that he's willing to take on the fight with Sam. Though, of course, Sam is taking things into his own hands and probably making a bad move. But he is a Winchester and if there's one thing he's learned from his big brother, it's do what it takes to save the other- even when he says he doesn't want it.

I'll talk later about being able to enjoy something in a TV show that I wouldn't accept in real life, but for now I'll just live in my fantasy world and enjoy the intensity that this brotherhood delivers.

[Poll #2008992]