twiddling my thumbs...

[ash48]

I'm saving the final copy of my next vid (and why is it that each time I save my "final" copy I find reasons to go back and tweak some more!?! I've made 4 "final" copies so far... and who the hell cares if the clip goes for one frame longer or is slightly brighter or the zoom is a little faster... *sheesh* ), and I'm bored waiting so...stuff....


1. Swan Song. This damn wonderful episode is still weighing on my damn mind. I was laying in bed thinking about it (as you do) and I thought about Dean's line from AHBL2 - "I screwed up" and I thought- you know Dean, you really did. And not because you were responsible for Sam's first death (as you felt), but because you were responsible for the second. If you hadn't (selfishly) brought Sam back the first time he wouldn't have had to suffer though your death, his failure to save you, his blood addiction, his guilt for letting Lucifer free, his need for redemption and his now suffering in hell. He could have been enjoying a beer with Ash in heaven instead.

Now before you jump down my throat I pretty sure this is what Dean would be thinking now. I'm not judging Dean, but he has to be thinking this. There is no way he is living his apple pie life. How could he be? This is more of a screw up than the last time. (yep, that's the kind of stuff I'm thinking when I'm half awake. Well that and, well *koff* ...you know.. ;) )



Damn I love my show. <3

2. Australia has its first female Prime Minister. WOOT! She did herself proud on day one, I'm excited to see what develops now.

3. Damnit, I'm a year older tomorrow. Sometimes I'm not sure whether to be pleased that I'm happy and healthy and made it this far or damn pissed that I can't hold back time.

4. Yay! Leverage is back. Though I haven't had a chance to watch the latest ep yet. I notice that those on my flist who have seen it are giving it mixed reviews. I suppose I better judge for myself. As long as Eliot is still smoking hot I will be happy... *iz shallow*. (Though I do love the "family" connection those characters have, so I hope that hasn't changed).

5. Vid rec. (I can't believe I'm doing this) Ok then. *buckles* If you're into Dean/Cas (and no I am NOT enabling your sick tendencies!) here's a vid that will have you smiling... and possibly quicken your breathing just a bit.

That's me done. No more final copies. Stop procrastinating for god's sake!.

Comments

[missyjack.livejournal.com]

oh i am sure dean is blaming himself for everything - back to turning up at Stanford, and well probably not stopping Azazel on the night when Sam was 6 months old.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

HA! I know! At 4 he so should have seen that coming. *sheesh* Dean. You are such a failure...

*hugs* the poor boy. I'm sure they will find more for you to feel bad about. There's a whole season to go yet (and maybe even 2!)

xx

[http://users.livejournal.com/_sharvie_/]

HAPPY B-Day!! *bounce* Holding back time...oh yeah, I'm with you there. Just live in the now cause who knows what tomorrow will bring. Hope it's a great day!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you darlin'! And yes, living for the now is so very, very important. I am actually going to go out tomorrow night. To the theatre! yay! Feel like ages since I've indulged in the thing I love the most.

<33

[redteekal.livejournal.com]

1. Swan Song. WHAT SHE SAID! Hear hear and all that jazz. Hence there is no, nor will there ever be an apple pie life for him. It makes me chuckle actually - I was watching one of the Rising Con vids and Jensen got a question about does he think it's fair how Dean's got the apple pie life and Sam's all dark side and Jensen's face is like WTF? And he's all "What show are you watching??? APPLE PIE LIFE? Did ya see the hand coming out of the dirt? Yeah? A-la-mode right there sister. .... Apple pie *snort of derision* I'll show you Apple pie."

He cracks me up. Then Jared refers to the end of the season showing Dean starting his apple pie life. Jensen's all like "Oh yeah. You wanna talk about the end of season 5. Let's talk about all 5 seasons - there's NO dessert going on there."

Hee - he was really relaxed there, it was fun to watch. But back on your post again (sorry I have this bad habit of highjacking comments!). I concur with you Dean is the King of Self Blame - and for sure he'd be thinking about all that history. Especially where it's led Sam to now. Yeah the only Apple pie he's having is the one Sam gets him from a diner.

New female PM (and as one of my red headed students put it) a new ranga PM! Said student was thoroughly impressed and thinks his status as a ranga in the school yard should be raised henceforth. We try to encourage them to avoid the term ranga but honestly the kids just think it's a cute name for red headed kids now. *Sigh* How about that? *is incredulous* How fast was that change of guard??? Did NOT see that one coming - mind you I tend to place Aussie politics fairly low on the agenda. It shall be interesting - can't say she did a great job with the Education portfolio but not sure if anyone has yet!

Ooooh Leverage - I gotta get into that. I'm all YAY! True Blood is back - cannot believe that Sunday night I'll be watching it as it airs in my Hilton Houston hotel room! Holy crap - I've still got so much to do! But it's okay I've got all my SPN S1 through 5 eps loaded onto laptop. Priorities - I HAZ them.

You vid recced Dean/Cas? Wait. What? But what about Sammy!?!?! Now I'm intrigued I shall have to go watch now. :P

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow - I haven't watched any rising con footage. So they said all that!? yay them! There is definitely no dessert for these poor boys... It amazes me how they keep going actually.

And yes - it all happened very quickly re PM didn't it? Hee! I have seen some comments about her being a "ranga" around a bit. Seems like a proud moment for women AND rangas! And you're right about the Eduction portfolio - not sure who could get that right. But I know she made no friends with that portfolio - and NAPLAN. (did you see the new school term dates for next year?... all to accommodate NAPLAN it would seem..)

And Leverage is great fun and I'm kinda adoring drooling over Chris Kane. And I must catch with True Blood...

AND I KNOW! I recc'd Dean/Cas!! What has the world come to?! Though the vid is funny and weirdly hot (though I know Sammy would be very jealous!)

xx

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

It's funny you just posted about Swan Song. I have the house to myself for a while today (very rare occurence) and was planning to rewatch to get myself back in a writing mood. I never thought about Dean's self-guilt, in terms of Sam's first death. (I love this show that I can write a sentence like that) I never saw him as regretting that one - it was a done deal. It would be fun to explore that theme.

Cannot wait for your new vid! It is Supernatural, isn't it...she asks hopefully. If not, anything you create is good. :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

I never thought about Dean's self-guilt, in terms of Sam's first death.

The line about him "screwing up" I see has him guilting over Sam dying the first time (and agreed! How many shows can you talk about when a character died before). I can't decide whether he brought him back because he couldn't live without him or because he couldn't live with the fact that he felt it was his fault that he died - perhaps a bit of both. But really? He ain't got nothing on that now. Selling his soul must be the single most stupid (and beautiful) thing he did and the catalyst for basically every thing that's happened since then.

Yep. Must weigh the boy down a bit I reckon.

And yes. Vid is Supernatural. But it's Castiel - so I no idea what kind of reaction it will get. I'm a little bit nervous about this one I have to say. It's been an interesting challenge. :)

xx

[rhymephile.livejournal.com]

You know, I didn't think about it but you're right about Sammy. I've always been a Sammy lover (even through the blood thing where everyone hates him -- I still think he did for the good of the world) and it's amazing to imagine that Dean's selfishness really did cause all this. Poor Dean! Poor Sammy!

Also, don't feel bad about reccing a Dean/Cas vid! There is much love to be found there! That vid was fantastic, btw, so thank you! LOL.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

and it's amazing to imagine that Dean's selfishness really did cause all this.

See this. Everyone talks about Sam being selfish but really Dean brought Sam back because of his own needs. Not Sam's. I mean, I suppose he thought it wasn't fair that Sam had died but at least he wasn't in hell, with Lucifer in him. (Ok, we know he got out - assuming it's him - but Dean doesn't know that). Dean couldn't live with his own failure nor could he live without Sam - so yeah, he brought him back. I always come back to the line Dean said "what's dead should stay dead".

Hee! And I know there's a lot of love for Dean/Cas. But I feel like a traitor! I'm a Sam/Dean gal through and through!

xx

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

Now, you're reccing Dean/Castiel!? YOU'RE DEAD TO ME.

(kidding! I kid!!)

Now post, birthday girl. <333

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Now, you're reccing Dean/Castiel!? YOU'RE DEAD TO ME.

HA! *smishes* the life back into you!

Now post, birthday girl

Ahhh - but it's Cas honey bun, so it ain't gonna be your cuppa tea! (at least it's not Dean/Cas!)

<333

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

Ah, you are a stronger woman than I to have taken that on! :D

Your smishes have gripped me tight and raised me from Perdition! (But now I have a bloody burn mark on my shoulder. *g*)

[greyowl88.livejournal.com]

If I have the time difference right it should be just after midnight in Perth, soooo:

H A P P Y * B I R T H D A Y ! ! ! \o/ *confetti shower*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yay!! Thank you... OMG! Look at how SEXY SAMMY IS!!!??? God he's gorgeous!

Thanks darlin'. <33333333333

[greyowl88.livejournal.com]

He is all yours today ;)....Enjoy your Day! ♥

[yourlibrarian]

Sometimes I'm not sure whether to be pleased that I'm happy and healthy and made it this far or damn pissed that I can't hold back time.

LOL, yeah, I understand that. Early happy birthday!

4. Yay! Leverage is back. Though I haven't had a chance to watch the latest ep yet. I notice that those on my flist who have seen it are giving it
mixed reviews.

Really? What's making people unhappy? Those episodes seemed quite well written to me.

And I always thought that about AHBL -- it's not like they have a great life or a great future. In their lives, dying is not the tragedy, and that was even before we knew for sure there was a heaven.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Early happy birthday!

Thanks! :D

What's making people unhappy?

Hmm ... not sure. I remember seeing one about being disappointed with the direction it was going in. So, yeah - not sure what means yet. I still haven't seen it yet.


it's not like they have a great life or a great future

Indeed. And I suppose it would be a hell of a lot worse without the other one in it... :(((

[ciaimpala.livejournal.com]

Happy Early Birthday!!

And also I flove Leverage, and the incredibly hot Elliot, and the team's family connection :) I'm finishing up Season 2 now through Netflix, and then will watch the new episodes :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun!

Yeah - Leverage has me totally hooked. Can't wait to see the new season episode - just haven't had a chance to sit down with it yet.. :(
<33

[callme-k.livejournal.com]

Time, schmime! HAPPY BIRTHDAY hun *hugs* Hope you have a spectacular day <333
Re gifts: it should be us to you, but...new vid you say? \o/

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun!!! Hee! ICON!! \o/

Hee! And yes - new vid on the way. *gulps*

*smish*

[dotfic.livejournal.com]

Leverage was...Leverage. The premiere was fun, just not much that seemed to require a lot of commentary or lots of capslocking of joy (well, there was one moment where I squeed OUT LOUD). But I think you'll enjoy it and Eliot looked goood.

Shocked! I am shocked at your rec of a Dean/Cas vid! *chortle* That was hot and funny, thank you.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

But I think you'll enjoy it and Eliot looked goood.

Well, if Eliot looked good then that's all that matters! :D

I am shocked at your rec of a Dean/Cas vid!

I know!! I can feels Sammy's jealousy bearing down on me!

xx

[geckoholic]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Dean will find several ways to blame himself for ALL of it. A new one every day. Just how he works . . . *sighs*
And well, you DO have a point. ;)

OMG THAT VID!! Has me in tears of laugher every single time. *lmao*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed Dean will blame himself - some things he can 't take the blame for, but Sam's latest predicament... yeah, I reckon he can shoulder some of that... (still not over 5.22 - I need 6.01 to start the healing process!)

And vid is funny yeah?!!
<33

[geckoholic]

Me neither, I tell you, me neither. SHOW! *misses like whoa*

The vid is freaking HYSTERICAL. :D
♥