New vid(let): maybe I could be saved...

[ash48]

(*eep* banner by me. I keep trying./o\)

Title: Maybe I could be saved
Vidder: ash48
Music by: Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Bob Dylan
Category: Character study
Length: 1.14m (longer vids seem to be eluding me at the moment. Idek)
Size: 20 mb
Summary: Sam may have been saved from his destiny, but he wasn't saved from the suffering.


Special thanks to counteragent the beta. Your thoughts and suggestions were extremely helpful. *hearts* and to el1ie for the encouraging feedback. (woot!) <33

Download: MediaFire || Stream: You Tube

Notes

I've been wanting to vid Sam's speech from Houses of the Holy for ages. It breaks me every time - looking back and knowing how much Sam suffered, even though he was saved from his so called destiny. For me this vid is about being able to use images to express what I think of when I now hear that speech. I could write an essay about all this - why I chose each image, the connections etc. so if something doesn't make sense feel free to ask...;)

ETA: The "essay" mentioned above. The whys and wherefores of my clips choices etc.



No money made but comments are gratefully and warmly accepted. <33

Comments

[boggiecat.livejournal.com]

All that hurt, all that pain. I love that dialogue - and I love how you put those clips together. Lots of hurt Sam is always good, and Bob Dylan to go with it was just so right.
thanks ash!
boggie x

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much hun. (::koff:: and yes... can never have too much hurt!Sam...;D)

Thanks for popping by.
xox

[lamapan.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're amazing! So beautiful, and yes I'm also crying now.
<3

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Awwww... thank you so much hun. Glad you liked it. <33

[serrico.livejournal.com]

OH, *SAM*.

This is gorgeous and heartbreaking. Poor Sam. All that belief, and it got him nowhere.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And yes... it's makes it extra sad that Sam had such faith that if angels existed they would save him. :(

[riotgrrlhotel.livejournal.com]

I really wanted to read the 'director's cut' and notes you've provided but, although stunning, this vid is too triggering for me. Please take that as a compliment; I know it doesn't sound like one!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hey hun. Thanks for your honesty and I am so sorry that it triggered stuff for you. I do take it as a compliment that it hit an emotional note, but triggers ain't good...

I think show has hit on some pretty deep stuff with Sam's issues. His journey has been pretty harrowing.

<333

[sothcweden.livejournal.com]

This is fabulous, and such a different tone from what I normally associate you with. I think of you as a lighter vidder, the person whose vids I watch when I need a smile (see Walking on Sunshine, When You're Smiling, etc.).

That said, this was wonderfully done, and so well put together. If I weren't at work, I'd be tearing up as I think about how much Sam has suffered since giving that speech, when he already thought things were pretty damn bad.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. (hee... and it's probably rather ironic that the very next vid I post is a smiling one!)

I like to give the more serious ones a go. They are more of a challenge for me but I love being able to explore their character more in these kinds of vids.

Thanks so much for watching and for your lovely comment.

[masja-17.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! It almost brakes my heart so see all what Sammy has been thru. What he has survived. Poor Sammy : - : ...

But this was a really great vid! Thank you!

<3

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :) Sammy often breaks my wee heart when I consider what he's been through. :((

xox

[secretlytodream.livejournal.com]

I love this scene, it's so heartbreaking ;___; You did great job portraying it! ♥ I also really loved the ending shots of a cage and Sam's eye closing. Really fitting and atmospheric <33

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetie. <333

[callme-k.livejournal.com]

Whaaa. My canon Castiel would've helped Sam back then in a heartbeat if he could have:'(

That was achingly beautiful.
This is how extraordinary those early season's eps were... to still have so much resonance nowadays. Watching the show since, there have been times during a scene where past dialogues - such as this HotH one - will pop into my head, so the concept here to paint a picture for it is a fanastic one.

I loved your scene choices, particularly the closing of the panic room door on Sam on, "I'm watching out for you", and the Cas scenes also struck a personal chord.

It's overwhelming to think of the suffering Sam's been through, and the literal connotation as though he has been "knocking on heaven's door" without an answer.... was just... gah!
I'll be checking out your "essay" on this as soon as I can.

Gorgeous hun! xx

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Ah yes... Your Castiel wouldn't have hurt Sam like this. I'm sure canon Cas didn't mean to hurt Sam as much as he did - he was just a bit crazy in the head at the time. Sam understands that...

I love how much resonance the early episodes still have. I think that's what inspired this vid.

In my canon-head heaven is looking out for the boys and will have a place for them when they are done. :)

I'm so glad you liked it.
xox