New vid(let): maybe I could be saved...

[ash48]

(*eep* banner by me. I keep trying./o\)

Title: Maybe I could be saved
Vidder: ash48
Music by: Knockin' on Heaven's Door, Bob Dylan
Category: Character study
Length: 1.14m (longer vids seem to be eluding me at the moment. Idek)
Size: 20 mb
Summary: Sam may have been saved from his destiny, but he wasn't saved from the suffering.


Special thanks to counteragent the beta. Your thoughts and suggestions were extremely helpful. *hearts* and to el1ie for the encouraging feedback. (woot!) <33

Download: MediaFire || Stream: You Tube

Notes

I've been wanting to vid Sam's speech from Houses of the Holy for ages. It breaks me every time - looking back and knowing how much Sam suffered, even though he was saved from his so called destiny. For me this vid is about being able to use images to express what I think of when I now hear that speech. I could write an essay about all this - why I chose each image, the connections etc. so if something doesn't make sense feel free to ask...;)

ETA: The "essay" mentioned above. The whys and wherefores of my clips choices etc.



No money made but comments are gratefully and warmly accepted. <33

Comments

[el1ie.livejournal.com]

I hope I've already told you what this means to me, so I'll just sit here in the corner with this vid and my box of tissues and not come out for a while.

Bravo hon - THIS is what show means to me and always will. Thank you.

P.S, I love your banner, it looks lovely.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hugs*... you know...:) <3

I'm glad you think the banner is ok. I'm such a fraud when it comes to graphics, but I like to play...;D
xox

[cassiopeia7.livejournal.com]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is PERFECT. Every pairing of image and dialogue, every dissolve. One of your best works ever -- and considering your works, that's saying a lot. I don't have any questions right now, but I'd surely love to read an essay on how/why you made this.

BRB, gone off to cry.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow...thanks so much hun. <3 That's lovely feedback.

hee.. I'm sure an essay would be very boring. Though I've always wanted to wax lyrical about the process of putting a vid together..

But...OMG...where the hell is that pick of Jared from? Is that a manip? *hearts* it.

[harrigan.livejournal.com]

I love that dialogue from Houses of the Holy, so damn much! You really did it justice here. (The selection of the amulet scenes in particular resonated with me.)

Now I want you to write the essay!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

That dialogue is just perfect isn't it? Sam's fears...Dean's reassurances, their connection.

The amulet represents so much. I used it here because of it's connection to God in canon, but also the connection between the brothers.

Eek..essay. I always have the urge to dissect a vid and explain each and every clip choice etc, but I'm sure it would be pretty boring to everyone else....(though I might just do it one day...).

Thanks for watching hun.
xox

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Saaaaaaam... ;__;

I have nothing coherent, sorry. Too busy weeping, here.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*meep* I know...Sam makes my heart ache...He suffers and suffers and soldiers on.

xox

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

A tissue would be handy right about now.

*whimpers*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue*

Sorry hun, but also... thanks! So glad you watched. <33

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Umm... so I decided I couldn't leave this alone and recc'd the vid at ohsam. Hope you don't mind. :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

OMG! Are you kidding?! Thank you! That blows me away. *hugs*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

<3 Thank you so much! Though I'm sorry to make you cry...(Sam has that effect I think....)

*hugs*

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

::cries from knife wound::

[ruby-jelly.livejournal.com]

Amen! :(

[gluisa88.livejournal.com]

*Sniff* This was beautiful!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. <33

[embroiderama]

Oh man, this is heart-breaking but I love it. OH SAM.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And indeed oh Sam.... he's a heartbreaker...

xox

[counteragent.livejournal.com]

SAMMYCAKES.

<3 <3 <3

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks again for your help honey! <3

[ruby-jelly.livejournal.com]

yessum... you really love, LOVE, Sam, eh?

[ruby-jelly.livejournal.com]

That particular speech devastated me, (one of Padalecki's finest moments, and a hint of what he is capable of portraying) and it used to haunt me for a number of reasons. Thought I'd got it out of my head, but ......ummm....!thanks :(

[redteekal.livejournal.com]

*sniff* Dammit Ash - ALLLLLLLL the feelings. It strikes me here - each of their (Sam and Dean) inner struggles so vastly different from each other and yet still resonate with the echoes of the same yearnings. Sam to be saved, Dean to feel loved and worthy. There's this ceaseless desire in each of them which is heartbreaking and conversely is also the mettle and the steel strengthens their resolve to never ever give up or give in.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Hey!!

And yes yes. It's their struggles that makes (and has made) them so strong. It's interesting that this season we had Dean plastering on a smile to hid his inner turmoil and Sam just trying to keep his head in the game. By the end they seemed to have succeeded - only to have it all ripped from under them at the very end.

(Hope we have some yummy angst coming up next season...)

See you Sunday!

[lavishsqualor.livejournal.com]

omgomgomg. This is so much beautiful. SOMUCHPAINANDHURTANDLOSS. And it's beautiful! Stunning! Amaaaaazing job. <33333

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I'm thrilled you thought so. <3 Sammy sure has suffered a lot...:(

[growyourwings.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow. Very powerful. Nice job <--outstanding.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you hun!! (and thanks so much for the rec....)

xox

[galwithglasses.livejournal.com]

That speech is one of my favorites and to see what you did with it is really amazing. I was already pretty choked up by the time I got to the flaming eye, which almost looks like it's sparkling tears. Now I have to go find a towel to mop my eyes. Really lovely job you've done there. Seen the first time, that speech was pretty emotionally gripping. Now looking back on it with everything else that's happened to Sam, it's like being swamped by emotion and dragged under. I like the scenes you put of both Dean and Cas in here. The irony of Sam wanting the help of heaven only to be psychically scarred by it instead is really brought home.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm so glad it worked for you hun. <3

The irony of Sam wanting the help of heaven only to be psychically scarred by it instead is really brought home.

I just love the idea that Sam was the one who believed and wanted there to be angels and then he discover they were real and nothing like they imagined them to be. And they were the ones that hurt him the most. :((

xoxo

[starrylizard.livejournal.com]

Nicely done. Love the music fading in over the dialogue. :)

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie. <3

[quickreaver.livejournal.com]

Got here from a ratherastory rec...SO SAD! But beautiful. (I'm PMSing, which doesn't help. ;) ) I always thought the song was moving, but since SPN? Whooooole 'nother level of melancholy. Great job!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for dropping by. I'm so glad you liked it. :))

Hee... and yes. SPN sure know who to bring the melancholy...

xox

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

This is just. Heartbreaking, I can't even describe. Sam!!

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Sam's story is so heartbreaking (so is Dean's for that matter) - he just keeps taking the hits. :(

Thanks so much for watching and commenting.

xox

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

GLORIOUS!!!! ;__;

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thanks bb! <3333

[blackrabbit42.livejournal.com]

*sob*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

*hands tissue*

xox

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Ohgod, I'm sobbing now -- literally, I'm afraid. The juxtaposition of Sam's words so many years/seasons ago, knowing what came after, *seeing* it laid out like that....I think you broke me. This is so brilliant, and rings so true. Oh Sammy...oh boys.... Congrats, bb. Amazing.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Wow..thank you so much. I'm sorry it made you cry (though I'm happy it moved you). You have to blame Sam! It's all his fault...;)

Thanks for the feedback.
xox

[zelda-zee.livejournal.com]

This is beautiful and tragic and so moving. Oh, Sammy! ;_;

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Oh Sammy indeed...:((

Thanks so much for watching
xx

[tabaqui]

Oh, that was gorgeous.
*sniffle*
Oh, Sam.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Oh sam yes...;((

[xenia-27.livejournal.com]

You do angst so beautifully! it breaks my heart every time I watch No Bravery and this vid will break my heart as well.

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. That's lovely feedback. <33