8.09 reaction.

[ash48]

I hated that beyond words.

I am literally sobbing as I type because this actually feels like the end.

What happened to my beautiful, bromancy, interesting, scary, intriguing show? My show that had "something up its sleeve", my show that only ever had brothers at odds with each other FOR A REAL REASON! My show that had brothers who loved each other. My show that knew it's history. My show that WAS NEVER a soap opera. My show.... *sobs*

My heart is breaking so much and it fucking hurts.

I trust that I missed something. To be honest I don't even have the energy to rant. I am so disappointed and hurt. The season cliffhanger is Amelia walking back into Sam's life... just. No words.

I have never witnessed so much distrust, disloyalty, dis-LOVE between the brothers....EVER. Even when they were fighting at the end of S4 there was at least passion. This was just...nothing. All those things without any reason. They were hardly even on the screen together. I think I even detected real hate between them. And if that's supposed to make me tune in to see how they resolve it?...well...yeah. Not so much.

The show has changed. I suppose it had to. So many of you already saw it. I glimpsed it and clawed myself back. But this is what the show has become and that saddens me so, so much.

I know I shouldn't post. I know you want positive stuff. But in one episode it cemented everything I feared this season would turn into. A boring soap opera.

(I will say that it was beautifully filmed. And if it was a soap opera then I am sure it was beautifully written).

Comments

[harrigan.livejournal.com]

Man, Ash! Me, too! I waited 45 mins after it aired to get online and see if anyone had anything to say about it, and it seems everyone was struck dumb. So I emailed a dear friend I'd met in this fandom who abandoned the show last year, told her she was right, and went to bed with a heavy heart.

(It does help, now, hearing that it wasn't intended to be the emotional note that holds us over for 6 weeks.)

I'm probably not quite as broken up as everyone who wanted there to be some mystery revealed about Sam's 'dream life' in their year apart. I've always been completely okay with Sam just deciding not to look. (I wouldn't have minded if there *was* a secret reason, but I'm still happy with my theory that Sam thought Dean might be in heaven. I'm even okay if it's simply that he had zero resources to tell him how to get Dean out if that wasn't the case, the deeply ingrained knowledge that tragedy always happens when they try, and he was too shattered to do anything else.)

But after season 4, when they embarked on this journey of mistrusting each other and unleashing anger, I've been ready for them to go back to being on the same side. Every year, I say -- this season they'll go back to that season 1-2 vibe of taking care of each other and making each other laugh and risking their lives to save strangers. And instead - I get episodes that I have no interest in watching a second time and wallowing in.

Oddly, I still have hope. I still care about the boys enough to tune in and see how they're doing. And I even hope they'll have a heart-to-heart and Dean will recognize (admit to Sam?) that his harsh attitude about Sam not looking was really his own guilt for not trying to get Cas out once he himself was safely back.

But I still think this was a lousy way to start a hiatus.

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

But we'll always have episode 7X02, right?????

[ash48.livejournal.com]

TRUE!! and plenty of other amazing episodes besides. <333

[harrigan.livejournal.com]

And I do believe that we can look forward to some amazing episodes going forward too. I do! My problem with this episode has been primarily 2-fold. (I know they aren't the same reasons as for your upset - and your reasons are entirely valid. But it helps me to talk it out a little, if you don't mind.)

1. I was already in a kinda fragile state this week, completely unrelated to the show. (I found myself returning 3 library books unfinished because they were too intense and depressing, and my mindset really couldn't handle that right now. And then this week's episode? Ouch!!)

2. I try not to have expectations about episodes. Not to be too aware of spoilers. Not to try to envision where they are going. (Not everyone's style but it mostly works for me.) If this had been a regular early season 8 episode, or I'd first watched it in a marathon watching session with several other eps later (maybe debbiel66's plan?), it wouldn't have been nearly so painful. But I couldn't help having higher/different expectations for the pre-hiatus 'cliffhanger', despite my best intentions, and this - failed me. Deeply. But! That doesn't mean the second half of season 8 might not be deeply satisfying. I have to believe Sam and Dean will have a sorely needed heart-to-heart soon and there are a lot of episodes to come after that.

What I need to do is limit my fannish activities to positive ones for now. Avoid the side-taking wank, and maybe wallow in some curtain!fic? And J2AU of course! I hope you find whatever works for you to provide some solace (crying jag? ranting on your LJ? Turning to Teen Wolf or 1D? - hee!) until the show re-earns your trust. I believe it will. Until then, protect your heart in whatever way you think best. {{{hugs}}}

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you sweetie.

I agree that seeing this ep earlier on would have had me reacting very differently.

I am currently trying to plan what to do. I considered just taking a major break from LJ (but then I know I'd miss it too much). I think once I've answered all these comments that will be the end of the discussions for me. Lamenting is not going to help. I really do need to take a big break.

I want to get my act together for spn_littlebro (I have tried to read some stories but I keep running out of time - due to Show - but I will get on top of that soon) and maybe bury myself in creating a motel post or something.

At the moment I'm thinking I might try Deb's plan. As much as I hate being spoiled I am going to read selected ep reactions once an episode has aired and decide whether to watch it or not. And try no to have any expectations or hope or even speculate.

Hee...TW or 1D...what? You wanna kill me?!! lol.

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear RL is getting you down.

<33

[zubeneschamali.livejournal.com]

I'm still happy with my theory that Sam thought Dean might be in heaven

Ooh, I like this. *adds to head!canon*

[ash48.livejournal.com]

Thank you. <33

I spent the first half an hour after watching crying (lucky no one else was around /o\) lamenting my beloved show and then I made a few attempts to write some stuff. I couldn't really put into word exactly what it was that made me upset but I think:

of taking care of each other and making each other laugh and risking their lives to save strangers.

is a big part of it. Slowly watching them losing that has been difficult to watch.

The other definitely comes down to Sam's backstory. I've been trying to accept that Sam really didn't look because of all the amazing reasons fans have said he didn't. And to a certain extent I did accept that. I just wish Show had given us a clue about their reasons why Sam didn't look. Instead we had one line "my world imploded" and the rest is us seeing domestic Sam living in a relationship. Up until now the flashbacks have interested me because I thought there might have been some underlying meaning to them all. But it turns out it's just...well, a relationship that ha troubles like any other. If I wanted to watch a relationship drama there are plenty of them around. I just didn't think my show was one of them. :(

Also this:

And instead - I get episodes that I have no interest in watching a second time and wallowing in.

Mostly I have had little to no interest in what's been going on. As such I don't mind Benny and Amelia (and Cas and Crowley and Kevin and Mrs Tran....) but we have been given these lengthy boring scenes giving us their backstories. I get that that might satisfy many fans - but not me. I just don't care enough. Give us a bit and then more the story along.

Unfortunately my hope is slowly fading. I did have it in bucket loads until that one. Now I'm seeing a show that is no longer one that suits me. Perhaps I will wait until they resolve it and get back to fighting supernatural baddies together. Watching each other's back, showing a level of understanding because they know each other THAT well, and just...being brothers again.

(oops sorry to download. Woke up this morning still feeling like crap. Trying to sort all this out in my head).