New Vid: Behind Blue Eyes

[ash48]

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Title: Behind Blue Eyes
Vidder: ash48
Song: Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit
Category: Sam character study / angst
Length: 3.50m
Size 41.4mb
Summary: My love is vengeance, that's never free.

For greyowl88 Your constant support makes me *beam*. And anyone who can watch and comment on all my vids deserves a friggin' medal. I'm all out of those so I hope this vid will do. :)


Links:
Watch: You Tube Downloads: 4shared (.avi) sendspace (.divx)
And an experiment (and a bit presumptuous I suppose), but I have been asked about this: Download for iPods -.m4v
(I'll be curious to know if this works if any one tries it).

vid_the_grid I'm going Vidder's choice for this as I've already used my angst one. :)

Thanks:
I've been lucky to have 2 betas help me out on this. My ever fabulous beta_sharvie_ and the wonderful mithborien. Thanks gals for your keen eyes and awesome suggestions. Special thanks tomaichan808 and my_sn_therapy for their feedback and input. *heffa hugs to you all*

Notes
Right then. I'm going to blab because there's some stuff I want to say about this. So yeah, feel free to skip it. :)

I've been tossing this song around for ages - will I, won't I use it. For me the lyrics were just so perfect for the story and meta I wanted to say about S4 Sam. With stuff like "My dreams aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be", just hit me. But I was reluctant also because I felt the song might be a bit, um sentimental and slow. But those lyrics just leave wouldn't me alone. So here it is.

There's some stuff in here that I was thinking but might not leap out. Like the link I wanted to make between Sam's thirst for killing Lilith is in fact making him turn into the thing he despises the most. So I've gone with symbolising that by overlaying their hands etc.

Also, the idea that Sam was pre-destined to drink demon blood. "Fated" as it were. Quick moments, but that's the thinking behind them.

And lastly the line "No one knows what it's like" - has a double meaning for me. It's not just about Sam lamenting that his brother doesn't understand him or what he's been through but we, the audience, don't much either. We haven't really been given that much insight into what actually drove Sam to saying yes to drinking demon blood for example. That of course, doesn't come out in the vid, but it was one of the motivating factors for choosing this song.

Though this is more of a look at why Sam made some choices and his sense of loneliness.

No money made but comments make me feel nice. :)

Comments

[redteekal.livejournal.com]

First of all YAY! You did a Sam piece to go with the 'Hurt' Dean piece :)) *beams*

Second of all congrats on this vid - now you can maybe write this comment off to Simone being a little bit biased but I'm pretty sure I've not seen such a high ratio of visually appealing footage AND meta material in an Spn vid like this before.

I mean I *know* the boys are pretty and all but these particular scenes seem to stand out with Sam's stark aesthetic appeal. Yeah I know Jared is gorgeous but to have such relevant/appropriate and suitable scenes correlate so well with the lyrics *and* portray Sam in all his masculine beauty does not seem to be par for the course for vidmakers in this fandom.

I can see exactly why you ummed and ahhed about using this song and I'll be honest when I say, having been familiar with the song, I had written it off when listening to it on my ipod as an overly sentimental and cliched number to use. But now you've forced me to actually listen to these lyrics and in relation to Sam and I'm a little bit gobsmacked as to why I didn't see that before. This is a Sam song through and through.

I love how you had the ongoing theme of Sam in the car and his reflection...and I really liked how you had a different take on the same lyrics as the song progressed - the "dreams" line holding a different meaning at the beginning than it did near the end. I like how you slipped a bit of Dean blame in there (I love Dean to pieces but I tend to think he gets let off a little easy in this fandom) from Sam's POV. And so pertinent to the line before the "blame" one - "No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings..." - the epitome of Sam is right there.

And I love that line "My love is vengeance...that's never free" It's not ideal by a long shot but vengeance a lot of the time is how Sam has shown his love - seeking vengeance. And it was always going to cost him.
Another line that stood out - and so relevant after 5.11 - "No one bites back as hard on their anger" you had the perfect scene choice from S4's Siren.

My one teeny tiny concrit (and I really hope you take this as concrit) was that the ending felt a little abrupt to me. I know the song ends this way and I have no idea how you counteract that in a seamless, invisible manner so forgive me if it's just one of those impossible to do things.

There were so many moments in this vid that were just in perfect clarity and synchronous to the lyrics - great work :) I liked your Dean vid to Hurt a lot but I think I like this one more :)) And you're right about the suprising lack of insight into Sam's motivations we get as viewers and I think that may possibly be reflective of Sam's own inner conflict and the simple fact that not even Sam himself has clarity on why he is driven to his actions. He's only just recognised now that his level of anger at the world may not be normal. I hope we see more of Sam coming to an understanding and acceptance of his nature and what drives him.

Thanks for sharing and making.

What's next on your vidding to do list??

[ash48.livejournal.com]

(part one, 'cause I blabbed so much....)

Hi there. Wow, thank you SO much for taking the time to leave me such a detailed comment. It just fills me with GLEE! (And I apologise now but this means of course I get to blab about all sorts of things...

Firstly, yes. After I made my Dean vid I just had to make a Sam vid. And strangely I put myself under some pressure with that, considering how well Hurt was received... But I'm glad I did it. :)

but these particular scenes seem to stand out with Sam's stark aesthetic appeal.

I love this sentence. I think I only ever see Sam as beautiful *g*, though when vidding I suppose I try to pick scenes that look good visually and this usually means the actors are looking damn good as well... :)

I had written it off when listening to it on my ipod as an overly sentimental and cliched number to use.

I actually had this song on my timeline, even set up all my files I do before I start a vid, and then one night just deleted it all thinking, yuk, I can't do that song... but it kept eating my brain and had to start the process all over. When I visualise a vid so clearly with the lyrics it's usually a good sign to make it..

I love how you had the ongoing theme of Sam in the car and his reflection

Thank you. As with "Hurt" I wanted a way of showing Sam's introspection and inner thoughts. For Dean is was a mirror, for Sam is was his reflection.

I like how you slipped a bit of Dean blame in there

Hee! yes..I had to give Dean some blame here. Sam didn't ask him to sell his soul for him and I'm pretty sure Dean must have been aware how devastating that would be for Sam. For all the talk of Sam being selfish this was an incredibly selfish act on Dean's part. Dean couldn't live without Sam, so he brought him back. Not a lot of thought at that moment how awful the consequences on that would be. (And I love Dean too!!)

And I love that line "My love is vengeance...that's never free"

This was one of the main reason I was drawn to the song. In Jump the Shark, Adam says "Vengeance, it's never over is it Sam?". And right there is the crux of Sam's character for me.. vengeance has always been his agenda - Jess, Dad, Dean ... he never seems to be free of of his need for revenge..

and so relevant after 5.11 - "No one bites back as hard on their anger"

I was so excited after that episode about that. I had made this vid long before that aired and it just helped me cement the ideas I wanted to show in the vid... his vengeance and thus his anger is so much apart of Sam...

Part 2....

[ash48.livejournal.com]

My one teeny tiny concrit (and I really hope you take this as concrit) was that the ending felt a little abrupt to me

Thank you. And yes, concrit is always great. I use beta's so I can get as much of it as I can. :) And I'm impressed that you noticed actually. And vidder will tell you it's dangerous to go into a vid without knowing what to do with the end. And unfortunately I did go into this with no real idea of how to end it. I really didn't want the last chorus but there was no way to cut it (I have about 4 edits in the song already up to that point..), so I played with a few things and decided to take his story up to the point that I think this part of his journey ends, when he leaves Dean. And because I adore the scene where he walks down the stairs and looks back I wanted to somehow incorporate it, so it formed part of the ending for me. But I totally take your point.. it was a tricky one to end because the song didn't have a strong ending..

I liked your Dean vid to Hurt a lot but I think I like this one more :))
It means a lot to me for you to say that. This vid won't be as well received (and by that I mean the number of comments) to the Dean vid because generally I believe there are less people interested in Sam's story, so I kinda like that you liked this one more... *G*

Sorry I ranted so much, but your wonderful feedback gave me an excuse to talk about the process. It's something I love to do, but the opportunity doesn't come up very often. So thanks! :)

What's next on your vidding to do list??

Ah, Well, in a whisper I can say that I'm working on a kind of Channel Hopping 2 - and I HATE to admit it because I vowed I wasn't going to do that, but I've got some ideas floating around that I just have to play with. Plus I want to make vid that looks at the children in the Show. I've just found a song that I think might highlight the children's plight in SPN - including the wee!chesters. Oh and there's a few other ideas floating about as well. I wish I had more time, but back to school, so time is now limited.

Thanks again! And sorry I said so much!:D :D